Words for Wednesday: empty pages

(Life has been a little busy here at Mama’s Empty Nest lately, and I’ve found myself without words to write. The words are there…somewhere milling around in this cluttered brain of mine, but they just aren’t surfacing for the moment. So, excuse me while I repost something I wrote way back in November 2010, the first year of my Mama’s Empty Nest blog.)

Often friends encourage me without them even knowing they’ve done so, and sometimes they humble me as well.

Today a friend told me she keeps a gratitude list. She’s been keeping it for four years.

I started a gratitude journal way back in 1998. Want to guess how many pages I wrote in it?  Nine and a half. 

What’s odd is that I enjoy writing tremendously, so why couldn’t I fill all the pages of that journal full of words of thanksgiving and gratefulness and start another one? Actually, I should have an entire bookshelf of gratitude journals by now. But I don’t.

So I’m feeling humbled by this friend who has so much more faithfulness than me at being grateful and documenting her thankful thoughts. It’s obviously something I need to improve or at least attempt.

I rummaged through my desk drawer and dug out my lovely 1998 gratitude journal, a gift from a good friend. On the first page, she wrote this:  “Take a moment each day and write down five things you are grateful for.  It could be a moment, event, or just something that brought a smile to you today.  Let me start by sharing how much I appreciate your support and friendship.  You are truly ‘a very best friend’!”

This friend and I became acquainted through our children’s elementary school when we both served as PTA officers. I laughingly told her when we met that we would become “best friends” as we would work so closely together on school functions. 

We joked about that a lot, but we really did become close friends and even now, so many years later, we still sign our Christmas cards “from your very best friend!”

I noted that her entry in my journal was dated April 5, 1998. I wrote this three days later:  “I am so thankful for friends like K [she gave me the journal] who brighten my day; friends like KL who can give me godly and wise advice; that Mom is experiencing God’s power and peace while she’s dealing with her cancer diagnosis; that our gracious and loving Lord not only hears our prayers but answers them; for my children’s, husband’s, and my good health.”

I continued to write a paragraph or two from April through June. And then the writing stopped. Is it mere coincidence that I discontinued writing the day after my family and I moved back to the homeland? I don’t know. 

Life was extremely unsettled then and my mother was dying of cancer. I spent a lot of time in prayer during that time, but maybe my feelings and emotions were just too raw to put into ink on paper.

Over the years, I’ve picked up this small bound book with the floral design on the front, read what I previously wrote, and closed the book again without writing one paragraph. 

I could excuse myself by saying I was too busy planning my new home, raising my children, running to sports events, getting involved in church and school volunteering, but I know I was thankful for many, many occurrences, large and small, in my life.  So why didn’t I take a moment to chronicle them?  It’s a puzzle to me.

Perhaps it is a lack of discipline on my part. I failed to note over 10 years (now 24 years!) of thankfulness in written form, but looking back over those years, I can recall much for which my heart is grateful. 

But the day-to-day items, the usual but not insignificant blessings I’ve experienced, those are tucked away in my mind’s memory bank like old, faded mementos buried in a dusty trunk in the attic and forgotten.

Still, there’s so much to be thankful for, even if I don’t write those moments down on an empty page. ©2010 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

“It’s not happiness that brings us gratitude. It’s gratitude that brings us happiness.” ~ unknown

©mamasemptynest.wordpress.com 2022

Chasing mirages

Just when I start to feel sorry for myself, being isolated and so bone-weary of it, stuck at home with dismal, overcast, gray skies in the throes of winter, some thoughts cross my mind making me shake off my lethargic woe-is-me attitude and pause to be grateful.

It seems to be our human nature to always want what we can’t have. Some of us live our entire lives this way, always wanting more and more to fill up some vast void deep inside of us. We think that if we just had this magic cure-all, this latest do-thingy, this status-symbol invoking whatever, it will make us feel like we have a “good” life.

And really, all of those things we long for or thirst after are only just mirages. They never will make us feel whole and satisfied.

Dull, dreary surroundings get the best of me especially when sunshine is lacking. And I feel like I’m grasping for something that just isn’t there – that mirage image – instead of taking time to realize what I do have. 

Do I have sunshine every day? Nope, not when I live in a part of my home state which is notorious for having more overcast days than not.

Can I travel too far outside my home right now? Nope. That dratted virus is still causing fear and panic.

Can I visit friends and family near and far? Nope due to a repeat of the above issue.

Can I explore new indoor places/activities/volunteer opportunities/social gatherings? Nope. Same story.

But…I must stop chasing after mirages, even if they’re only in my thoughts, and focus on the real, tangible blessings in my life right now.

I am well, even after a little mishap that kept me from spending any time on electronics or my favorite pastimes of reading and working on crossword puzzles for a couple of days. And all of my family is well also.

I possess all the necessities of life: clean water to drink, nourishing food to eat (and my spouse, Papa, who is enjoying cooking right now), a comfortable home that we own, our own transportation, heat to warm these cold days, electricity, clothes to wear, and means of communicating with family and friends even if I can’t see them in person.

I have companionship with my best friend and husband of 40+ years, and I am loved by family and friends. Furthermore, I have a God who listens, understands, and answers in His perfect way and timing when I tell my troubles to Him in prayer.

And I am reminded that I wouldn’t truly appreciate and be thankful for all of those treasures if life was always sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. Sometimes it takes experiencing dark, difficult, and trying circumstances to consider the saving graces we do have and feel gratitude for them.

What brought all this to my mind? The following quote:

“All sunshine makes the desert.” ~ Arabian proverb

©mamasemptynest.wordpress.com 2021

As the year winds down

You know those letters that are tucked into Christmas greeting cards? You either love ‘em or hate ‘em. Some folks find them boring, some folks call them boastful.

Personally, I truly appreciate getting those letters from friends and family at Christmas time because it gives me a little peek into what the year was like for them.  Plus, it seems more personal than just signing your name on a greeting card.

As a natural-born writer, I’m keen on writing Christmas missives and have been doing so for…well, as long as I’ve sent holiday greetings by mail (43 years of marriage). Back in the day, I hand wrote all of those letters – what a task! – but as we joined the home computer rage, it was easier and more efficient to type our greeting and print it out on Christmas themed paper.

This year – this crazy, abnormal as can be year when it seems like our world was topsy-turvy – I still managed to write my annual holiday letter.  Even though we spent a good majority of the year social distancing, sequestered in our home, etc., believe it or not, I still found worthwhile things to share.

How? By concentrating on thankfulness. Why? Because my desire was to encourage those who received our letter to do the same, to remember this year’s aspects that made them grateful.

And even though this Christmas is now relegated to our memories, I’m sharing my 2020 holiday letter with you, not to brag or boast, but instead to demonstrate how we chose to look at the challenges we faced, although I recognize many of you experienced more hardships than most.

As this year winds down, many of us review what transpired before we put the past year to rest, and that’s simply what I did in this letter. But more importantly, my hope is that you may find my words a source of encouragement to reflect on your own past year and find gratitude for something in it, no matter how small or insignificant it seems.

So here goes – our annual holiday letter for 2020:

We sincerely hope this greeting finds you and all your loved ones healthy and well in body, mind, and spirit. What can we say about this past year? Most of us will be happy to see it in our rear view mirrors.

Despite the challenging year it’s been, here’s our attempt to place a positive spin on 2020 because my favorite passage of Scripture is 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 – “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Notice God’s Word says give thanks in ALL circumstances, not just the pleasant ones.

Our year commenced as usual – providing child care for our oldest grandchild and sometimes driving her to preschool while our daughter worked. As the new year arrived in order to escape the winter doldrums, Papa and I ventured into Pittsburgh to tour the Carnegie Museum of Art and Natural History and on another occasion, we accompanied daughter and grandchild to the Children’s Museum. Little did we know, outings like those would become non-existent in the coming months…BUT we truly enjoyed those experiences.

Our family celebrated our grandchild’s 5^th birthday and as March arrived, Papa and I prepared for an upcoming planned trip. Then news of the corona virus hit the air waves…BUT we already had flight tickets purchased, rental car and hotel accommodations booked so off we flew to Arizona.

After arriving in Phoenix, we drove to the Grand Canyon National Park, a place neither of us had ever visited. Drizzling rain and extremely foggy conditions met us there preventing us from catching a good view of this amazing natural wonder. We feared we would not actually see it…BUT the sun came out and the fog cleared to give us some spectacular sights.

From there, we got some kicks on Route 66 and eventually arrived at my sister and brother-in-law’s home for the rest of our trip. Pouring rain and some unheard of flash flooding (in the Arizona desert) greeted us on our first day there. Adding to that, my sister suffered some back pain issues which nixed all of the sightseeing she had planned…BUT we had already seen many sights on a previous trip there, the guys were able to go desert ATV riding, Papa and I enjoyed morning walks through their neighborhood each day, and we had a relaxing time just spending it with our loved ones.

By now, the pandemic panic increased and our kids frantically texted and called us imploring us to be careful and urging us to fly home sooner than planned…BUT since we were mostly staying put with only my sister and brother-in-law, we didn’t have to worry about being exposed to crowds.

As shut-downs occurred, concern for driving our rental car to Phoenix, staying the night in a hotel, and flying out of a crowded airport the next day or finding our flight cancelled loomed…BUT we managed to find an open drive-through place to get our dinner, a fairly empty hotel, and social distancing in place while waiting for our flight, disinfecting as we went, and because many people cancelled trips, we had a row of seats to ourselves on the plane.

We safely arrived back at our nearly deserted home airport, collected our bags, and were picked up outside by family members. Due to stay at home orders, our nearby city looked eerily like a ghost town…BUT with no traffic on the highway, we made it home in record time.

As you may recall, our middle daughter is a hospital nurse. She was extremely concerned about being Covid-19 exposed and thereby spreading it to her child and us as caregivers for that child, so she made the difficult, heart-breaking decision to separate herself from her child and us for the next 8 weeks…BUT Nana and Papa enjoyed every minute of being with our precious little one 24/7, playing games, make-believe, crafting, preschool learning at home, and thanks to nice weather, being outside.

During that time, our daughter actually was exposed to Covid-19 positive patients and endured a case of the virus herself AND a middle-of-the-night trip by ambulance to the ER while ill…BUT she recovered well, passed a painful kidney stone to boot (ER visit), and experienced so much love and concern from others with prayers, meals, gifts, and well wishes delivered to her mailbox and front porch.

Being apart from the rest of our family (our other grown children and grandchildren who live in other states), for special holidays like Easter, Thanksgiving, our littlest grandchild’s first birthday party, and middle grandchild’s fourth birthday certainly wasn’t easy this year…BUT we were grateful for technology providing video conferencing and virtual parties.

As things seemed to calm down and cases subsided by the end of May, our entire family reunited at our son and daughter-in-love’s home in the state next door for a family gathering weekend where we still practiced tons of hand washing and sanitizing…BUT it was so good to see each other in person, spend quality time together in beautiful weather outside on their lovely patio, and watch our three grandchildren play and have fun.

Our family had long planned to take a 2020 beach vacation, renting a house big enough for all 10 of us in order to spend an entire week together. Before the pandemic, we had already booked a place for August. Since virus news continued, we bantered back and forth discussing with angst about what decision to make…BUT all of us decided to go anyway.  We stayed sequestered in our rental; brought food and ordered groceries online; cooked all our own meals; enjoyed the very unpopulated beach where it was easy to social distance every day; and spent time with our little ones in our private swimming pool while the adults enjoyed the private hot tub. We relished relaxing together as a family and it helped our sanity and outlook. Some of us may have cried when it came time to depart for home at week’s end.

This has been a year unlike any other we’ve experienced…BUT we are very grateful for so much:

• Being retired and able to stay at home;
• No one in our family lost jobs;
• Attending church via online worship;
• Both of our daughters were able to have necessary surgeries and recovered well;
• Oldest grandchild started kindergarten this fall in school and loves it;
• Middle grandchild gave her heart to Jesus at the tender age of almost 4;
• Youngest grandchild learned who Nana and Papa are in person by spending a week with us all at the beach;
• Because of other activity cancellations, we’ve finished home projects and have time to pursue our hobbies;
• Taking day-long car trips to get out and about, no need for masks/social distancing when we’re in nature by ourselves and eating picnic lunches outdoors;
• I managed to lead several women’s Bible study sessions via video conferencing, thanks to my son-in-love who provided tech instructions on how to do so;
• And that so far, everyone in our family is staying healthy and managing as best we can to endure this time.

We hope and pray that, despite the hardships of this year, you find many reasons to be thankful and that you are blessed beyond measure with peace, love, joy, and mostly HOPE.  May your 2021 be a truly happy and healthy New Year.

My wish for you, my readers, is the same as the one above sent to our family and friends. It’s my daily prayer.

“It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.” ~ Germany Kent

©mamasemptynest.wordpress.com 2020

Words for Wednesday: oh, deer!

Home, home on rural land, where the deer and the antelope stand….okay, no antelope. Wrong part of the nation for that. But we do have a plethora of deer and an assortment of other wildlife that traverse through our property out here in the country.

Critters of all kinds use our 2.4 acre yard as a bi-way from one wooded area to another. Our “wildlife refuge” has included bear, wild turkeys, quail, skunks, raccoons, groundhogs, rabbits, red fox, opossum, birds of all kinds, even a turtle, and of course, white-tailed deer. Lots of deer.

In just one year’s time, two have met their end via vehicle on the road in front of our house. When hit, those unlucky creatures flew through the air and landed dead on arrival in our yard. You haven’t lived until you walk to your mailbox and find a dead deer lying beside it.

Mostly, the deer run through our yard on their way elsewhere early in the morning or at night. Oh, we know they’ve stopped occasionally to chow down on our garden because we see their tracks all through it.  This summer, they found our strawberry plants way too delectable which is why Papa had to put a fence around it to keep them out.

Hardly ever though, do we actually see deer grazing in our yard especially in the middle of the afternoon. But last week, one brave, young doe decided to stop for snacks at our place.

After lunch, Papa left to finish some repairs at our daughter’s home, so I plunked myself down in our home office at the desktop to write a blog post.

After working busily and steadily, I needed a break so I ambled out to the kitchen to make myself a cup of hot tea. While filling the teakettle at the kitchen sink, I gazed out the window and spied her.

She was nibbling away at some bushes that produce some type of inedible-for-humans, red berries in our back yard. Just munching away and taking her good old time doing so. Unusual, especially for 2 o’clock in the afternoon.

I grabbed my camera and attempted a photo through a kitchen window because I didn’t want to scare her away. Taking a picture through not only glass but also a window screen did not satisfy me at all and the doe’s head was hidden by the bush as she plucked berries off there.

So I hurriedly stepped into some shoes (it was pretty cold outside), and slowly opened the French door leading to our backyard deck. She heard me, of course, but didn’t take off running. I was thoroughly surprised by that. Instead, she simply stopped eating and peered at me through the bush.

I stood stock still for a few seconds, and she commenced chowing down once more. I then quietly and slowly slipped out onto the deck and snapped a photo.

The click of my camera caused her to pause, then peek around the bush at me. I didn’t move. She didn’t move. We stood that way for a minute or so. But the lure of those berries, which must have been delicious, caused her to resume snacking.

Cautiously and ever so slowly, I moved towards the deck railing to try some closer shots. Again she heard the clicks and stared straight at me.  We engaged in a staring contest much like my kids used to do when they were young.

Who would blink first? Who would flinch first? Who would move first?

For a few seconds, we just watched each other. And then, in a soft quiet voice, I asked her “Are those berries good?” She never moved. She never flinched. She just kept watching me, curiosity causing her to stay.

I’ve never experienced that with a wild deer before. Why wasn’t she afraid of me? Usually, deer are so skittish, they dart away as soon as they spot a human. I’m not sure how long we both stood there keeping our eyes on one another.

Suddenly, the sound of a vehicle coming down our driveway broke our reverie.  Boom! Like a shot, she was off, dashing away as fast as her four spindly legs could carry her, back into the tree line that separates our property from the farmer’s field behind us.

I can’t help wondering what her fate will be. Will she meet her end from a vehicle or from the blast of a rifle or a piercing of an arrow during deer hunting season?

Whatever transpires, she gave me a pleasant, little gift that day. A moment of tranquility amidst the noise of the world’s craziness right now.

That little doe feasting on berries in my yard made me smile, provided a moment of delight, something I truly needed.

In this November month of Thanksgiving, I consider the blessings – yes, I will count them one by one – that God bestows on us even in circumstances that are trying and difficult. And I count that little doe visit as one of them.

It reminded me, as always, how grateful I am to live here in the country – in rural land, in what some folks call “fly over land.” I wouldn’t trade it for any other place because I can find happiness right in my own back yard.

“I don’t have to take a trip around the world or be on a yacht in the Mediterranean to have happiness. I can find it in the little things, like looking out into my backyard and seeing deer in the fields.” ~ Queen Latifah

©mamasmeptynest.wordpress.com 2020

Be still…in sweet fellowship

All too soon it seemed, 12 weeks of Bible study in my home, with a dozen or so other ladies, ended during my sojourn of being still (taking a break from blogging).

We learned plenty about practicing contentment during our time together studying God’s Word, but we discovered a good bit about each other as well.  Some of the ladies I knew well, some fairly well, and one was a newcomer to our church.

I opened each session with what’s called an “icebreaker question.” Sometimes it was serious, sometimes not. Each participant took her turn at answering the question and many times, we found ourselves laughing heartily.

Other times, we shared things from the heart. Gratefulness swelled within me as I realized that each lady felt safe in sharing, trusting each other with some of the hard things we encounter in life, encouraging one another, and feeling welcome in the group.

Each week after the conclusion of our sessions, we lingered for a while in fellowship, chatting while partaking of tasty snacks – sometimes sweet, sometimes salty, sometimes healthy, sometimes not.

After our last session, we planned an ice cream sundae party. Two gals brought ice cream (some homemade) and the rest of us provided different toppings. And then these lovely ladies surprised me with a thank you gift and the fun cupcakes pictured above.

To say we grew closer to one another was the absolute truth. We formed a bond of friendship and sisterhood in Christ during those 12 weeks of study and sweet fellowship, and it seemed we were reluctant to end our time together.

And so, I’m working on a new study to commence in the fall. And I’m guessing that most, if not all, of those dear ladies will appear at my door once again ready to dive into God’s Word.  

My time of being still proved fruitful for my spiritual life and I’m so thankful for the fellowship of this dear group of women.

“The fellowship of true friends who can hear you out, share your joys, help carry your burdens, and correctly counsel you is priceless.” ~ Ezra Taft Benson

©2019 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

Thanksgiving leftovers

I know, I know.  Thanksgiving is over.  If you gauged it by Christmas decorations already jazzing up the scene everywhere you looked shortly after Halloween and stores accelerating the push into Christmas shopping, you would have thought we never celebrated a Thanksgiving holiday.

No, I’m not going to rant about the over commercialization of Christmas or the neglect and relegation of Thanksgiving into a blip in the road to Christmas craziness.  Instead, I’m hanging on to Thanksgiving for just a little longer.

A few years ago our home really became an empty nest as youngest son graduated from college, secured a job, and moved to the state next door.  Since then, I’ve found myself not wanting to let go of Thanksgiving. 

As soon as the turkey and fixings become refrigerator leftovers and the door closes after the last to leave the family gathering, I tend to wax a little melancholy.  Or as my friend described it so well, I might suffer from a little ‘post-party-um depression.’

And that’s odd.  Because we are a family of traditions.  And the tradition at our house is as soon as Thanksgiving is ushered out, we begin decorating for Christmas. 

When the kids were growing up and even into their college years, our family tradition was to launch out to a tree farm in search of the perfect for us evergreen tree, chop it down ourselves, and drag it home to decorate.  Son and Papa would climb up into the attic and hand down box after box of decorations and we gleefully adorned every nook and cranny of the house with Christmas glitter and glitz.

Yes, the weekend after Thanksgiving is time to haul out the holly at our house!  It’s when Christmas songs fill the air as Papa blasts them from the stereo.  It’s when red and white lights string their way merrily across the house, garage, and shrubbery.  It’s when garlands festoon the front porch, fireplace mantle, and staircase.   

It’s when wreaths appear on the windows and doors and candles illuminate the front windows.  It’s when the evergreen tree captures it glittery spot in the living room with multi-colored lights and ornaments treasured over the years for the memories they evoke.  It’s when the Christmas village nestles under the tree with its lighted houses and tiny yesteryear people.  It’s when the appetizing aroma of fresh baked cookies tickles your nose as you step into our home.

It’s tradition, I tell ya!  And yet, somehow as each year goes by, I break tradition.  First to go was the real honest-to-goodness pine needle shedding tree.  An artificial one usurped that freshly cut tradition.  Next the Christmas village didn’t find its way out of its storage box.  Cookie baking became minimal.  And decorating became a chore instead of a joy.

So I sit here amidst a myriad of boxes with a partially decorated home (Papa did his part by putting up the exterior lights and décor and assembled the fake tree) and I wonder why.   Every day since Thanksgiving, I crank up holiday songs on my computer and attempt to finish decorating.   I chastise myself when it doesn’t get accomplished because I think by now – December 5 – my house should be properly bedecked and adorned with Christmas finery and some cookie baking should be on the agenda.

And it’s not.  I could blame the empty nest.  I could claim it’s because all of the chicks are married and out of the nest.  But that’s not it.  We will all be together in our home for a Christmas celebration for a couple of days so you would think that alone would give me motivation to kick some Christmas spirit into gear.

So what is the cause of this malaise?  I’m not ready!  I truly think we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving long enough or well enough or…something.  As the dynamics of our household have changed and Papa and I have…shall we say, matured, I want to spend more time thanking God for His provision.   I want to exhibit gratitude for oh so many aspects of my life.  Yes, I’ll say it – I want to spend more time counting my blessings.

I don’t want to rush into the mayhem of Christmas craziness that the holiday has become.  I want to take my time.  I want to slow down and savor the opportunity to give thanks and do so for more than just one day filled with cooking a feast. 

This Thanksgiving, we gathered together at our house.  Not all of our adult children were able to be here but oldest daughter and son-in-law journeyed home, and my nearby sister and brother-in-law and family consisting of my nephew, his wife, and two little ones all joined us for the bounty at our table.  We feasted, we played games, and we all took turns holding my two month old great niece.  I want to hang onto that feeling of family and friendship and fondness just a little longer.

And just as if I needed a reminder, I want to share with you what I found on the day after Thanksgiving -that day when, by tradition, we would rush right into the Christmas season by decking the halls.   That day after celebrating the one day we set aside to give thanks, we still had snow on the ground.  It covered our yard.  It covered our deck.  In an effort to keep beverages cold all day for our celebration, my nephew set the bottles of soda, sparkling cider, and sparking raspberry limeade out into the snow on our deck.

So on that day after, when everyone returned to their homes and Papa and I were left once again in the empty nest and the frenzy of the Christmas season loomed, I opened the French doors to the deck and saw this (the photo above).  Imprints left in the snow from the beverage bottles.

My Thanksgiving leftovers.  These imprints made me smile and they made me happy.  But even more, they reminded me to keep an attitude of gratitude and take one day at a time giving thanks – prolonging Thanksgiving – and taking it with me into Christmas.  

“Leftovers in their less visible form are called memories. Stored in the refrigerator of the mind and the cupboard of the heart.” ~ Thomas Fuller

©2013 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

 

Giving thanks in all things

Thanksgiving season is one of my favorite times of year.  It renders me  nostalgic and I enjoy spending time reflecting on all the blessings I’ve experienced, even when times were difficult. 

As a person of faith, Thanksgiving provides an opportunity for me to be retrospective, looking back over where I’ve been and how far I’ve come with God’s help. 

In humility and gratitude, I take time to pause and give thanks to God and yet again reflect on my favorite verses in the Bible:  “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Recently, I looked back over the last several Thanksgiving holidays to once again count my many blessings and offer up my thanks.  Here’s an abbreviated version:

• November 2005 – By Thanksgiving of that year, I was so thankful to be alive.  My cancer diagnosis that summer frightened me, brought me to my knees, and made me realize how much of my life I took for granted.  It also caused me to examine a bitterness that had taken root in my heart.  Through much prayer and atonement, not only did I praise God for His forgiveness, but I came to fully forgive others.  The chains of bitterness that encircled my heart were broken!
• November 2006 – I was happy and grateful to have been given another year of life to witness our son’s senior year of high school, tearfully and proudly watch him graduate from high school as valedictorian of his class, and send him off to college.  I was also very thankful for the high quality medical care in our city for middle daughter’s concussion treatment, appreciative for oldest daughter living in the city nearby, and so fortunate to enjoy time spent with my elderly father.
• November 2007 – Another year graciously given to me chock full of blessings.  Despite some set-backs, God was working in all three of our children’s lives while teaching lessons about careers, college life, and loving relationships.  Good medical results from cancer screenings for me provided more fodder for my grateful heart.  We celebrated the holiday at my middle sister’s home with a feast of her awesome good cooking – always something for which to be thankful!
• November 2008 – Celebrating Thanksgiving that year, we had a full house – my father, my sister and her family, and all of my own family, especially wonderful since oldest daughter had moved to another state.  What a joy it was to sit at our bountiful table with some of the people I love the most, name and count our blessings, one by one.
• November 2009 – That Thanksgiving was quiet and reflective.  Hubby was unemployed, and we had just lost my father the past summer. Grief was still fresh, especially on the first holiday without him.  But oh, there was so much for which to be thankful!  God supplied our needs; we were warm in our home and had plenty to eat.  Middle daughter had graduated from college and launched her nursing career.  Son had scholarship money to pay for his next semester of college.  Oldest daughter safely traveled home from the south for the holiday.  My father had lived a long, full, rewarding life of 90 years.  God took him home quickly before his suffering became too difficult and for that I was also thankful.
• November 2010 – That fall marked the first time Papa and I were truly in the empty nest as the last of our grown children had graduated from college, initiated his career, and moved away from the nest to another state.   The nest was brimming full for Thanksgiving and we were thankful for jobs and our time together but when oldest daughter left to drive back to her home in Dixie, middle daughter headed back for her home in the city, and son said goodbye to travel back to the state next door, this Mama lost it.  Sadness, loneliness, and a feeling of emptiness filled my heart and not even the boxes of Christmas decorations waiting to adorn the house made this Mama’s heart happy. 
• November 2011 – Celebrating Thanksgiving that year, we were grateful to have oldest daughter back living in the city with newly engaged middle daughter, and we looked forward to family times planning a wedding.  As we all gathered around the dining room table and counted our blessings, a realization suddenly dawned on me.  By the next Thanksgiving, our family would expand from five to six as middle daughter would be married to the young man we already loved as a son.  By the end of our celebration, we got an inkling that our family would expand even more!  
• November 2012 – Last year, our hearts overflowed with love and gratitude as we spent the entire year celebrating THREE weddings and welcoming two sons-in-law and one daughter-in-law into our family.  Our Thanksgiving plans were different than usual though.  Papa and I traveled to the state next door to celebrate the holiday with newly married son and daughter-in-law.  Thanksgiving Day found us on Staten Island, helping Hurricane Sandy victims clean up after the disaster they had endured.  To witness how so many had lost so much grieved our hearts and instilled in us how very much we had to be thankful for.  Giving back to others, helping them in their need, and being a part of the body of Christ in ministering to the needy made that Thanksgiving one of the best ones we’ve ever celebrated.

And here we are, November 2013.  Another year of life.   Another year of joy and celebration but also loss and trials.   But the love of family and friends remains strong as does our faith in the One who provides and hears our prayers. 

Thanksgiving will be celebrated at Mama’s Empty Nest.  Not all of our children will be able to come home.  Middle daughter and son-in-law, both medical professionals, will be serving others as they minister to their patients in their respective hospitals.  Son and daughter-in-law are hosting her family at their home in the state next door.  But, weather permitting (snow is falling heavily as I write this), oldest daughter and son-in-law will travel here for a few days to join our feast.

So even though there will be beloved faces missing at the table, joy and the blessing of family time together will be celebrated with my sister and brother-in-law, my nephew, his wife and family joining us.  And for the first time, there will be little ones at our dining room table also – my great-nieces, one almost three and one just two months old.

So many life events, some wonderful beyond measure, some daunting and trying, have transpired during the last few years.   But through them all, the Lord has taught me lessons that needed learned, shown me grace, forgiveness, and His faithfulness in countless ways.   Blessings overflow like the goodness pouring out of a horn of plenty – a cornucopia of God’s love – and we have so very much for which to be thankful.

“If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily.”  ~ Gerald Good

©2013 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

We salute you

Have you hugged a vet today?  I have right here in my own home.  And I’m not talking about my local veterinarian.

Today, November 11, is an official holiday here in the United States – Veterans Day – when we honor those who have served in the armed forces, those we regard with so much gratitude.

We have about 23 million veterans in the US, according to the United States Department of Veterans Affairs.  My husband is one of them and the photo I’ve posted here is of him as a young US Army Captain back in the day.  The Bureau of Labor Statistics says another 2.3 million people are currently serving in the military.

And today is the day set aside to commemorate  and thank them not just for their service to us and our country but for being courageous and sacrificing for each one of us.

Freedom isn’t free.  We wouldn’t enjoy the freedoms we relish here in the United States if it weren’t for our veterans.  Many of them have paid a life-changing price for the freedom that you and I take for granted.

Today many businesses and restaurants are offering free services to our vets.  I applaud that effort to recognize those who are serving and have served in our armed forces.  But I say let’s go one step further.

Surely, each one of us knows at least one person in our circle of family and friends who is a veteran.  Make it a point today to thank them verbally or in writing for their sacrifices made on our behalf.

Let’s really reach out and take it even further.  If your path crosses with a veteran on any day, show him/her the respect deserved.  Let’s continue to be thankful for these brave men and women each and every day.  Let’s pray for their safety and for their families.  Let’s check out a local veteran’s center and see what their needs may be.  And let’s put our words into actions by helping whether it’s with donations or time to let our veterans know how much we truly appreciate their service.  After all, they did so much for us.

Thank you to every one of our vets including my husband, my brother-in-law,  and many of our friends strewn from coast to coast.  We can never repay you for what you did for us but we can salute you for your willingness to put your life on the line to protect us and our nation.

“This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.” ~ Elmer Davis

©2013 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

Because someday…

I woke up feeling cranky that day.  I’m not sure why so I’ll chalk it up to a restless night’s sleep or strange dreams or something.

Later that morning when I began cleaning our master bathroom shower, the glass shower door came off the track. 

I fidgeted with it, fussing and fuming until finally I gave up because I still couldn’t get it seated properly.  And that caused me to be even grouchier.

Thinking a cup of hot tea would surely soothe the savage beast that seemed to rage inside me, I made my way to the kitchen.  Stepping into the dining room, I noticed the new curtains that I had just ironed the day before were wrinkly.  “Are you kidding me?”  I thought.  Grrr!

About that time, hubby came home from taking some of that ‘too much stuff’ from our basement hoard, which also makes me irritated, to the recycling center.  Not long after he stepped into the kitchen, I was growling about yet another issue.

“Wow, why are you so cranky?” he asked. “Get up on the wrong side of the bed?”

You know, when you’ve been married for 30 plus years, you should realize and remember what floats your spouse’s boat and also what just pushes his or her buttons.

And hubby was punching my buttons!  Or so it seemed to me.  The more he pushed, the more I griped and growled.

This unhappy sequence continued for most of the day.  And although he fixed the shower door and even finished cleaning the shower for me, and helped me hang the curtains, I still wanted to bite his head off.

Outside – with snow flurries in the middle of April for heaven’s sake!  – proved just as miserable and cold as it was inside. When hubby suggested we grab a burger for dinner, I balked.  I really didn’t want to go out on this very un-spring-like day and I’m certain I even complained about that.

But off we went anyway to a local fast food place.  On our way there, we argued in one of those ‘you misunderstood what  I meant’ kind of disagreements, and this time, hubby was the one who exhibited crabbiness.

Guess it became contagious. 

We ordered our burgers and sat in silence while we ate.  And that’s when I noticed them.

The two of them sat alone in a booth behind my husband.  I figured they were in their 80’s.  She sat directly beside him and talked softly to him as he slowly chewed his food.  She helped him lift his drink cup and maneuvered the straw in the direction of his mouth so he could sip his strawberry lemonade.

He was bothered by crumbs on his pants but couldn’t quite knock them off, so she did it for him.  She even wiped his runny nose.

And right there in the middle of that Wendy’s restaurant, I wanted to cry. 

I watched this married couple and the picture I witnessed was one of abiding love.  The gentleman obviously suffered from frail health; I’m guessing that he had endured a slight stroke.  He must have lost weight during his illness as well because he wore his wedding band, which matched his wife’s, on the middle finger of his left hand not his ring finger.

He answered slowly and quietly when his wife asked him something. And each time she came to his aid, he looked at her with gratitude.  In conjunction, she treated him with patience and kindness.

I don’t think anyone else in the restaurant noticed them except me.  As I sat there trying to swallow bites of hamburger around the huge lump in my throat and struggling not to let tears erupt, I knew I saw this couple for a reason.  On this very day.

Someday, ‘they’ might be ‘us.’  That’s what I thought.  And the image of a day that might come in the future moved me to conviction to be so very grateful for now.  This moment, this day.

All day I had been cantankerous with my husband.  My husband – the one I love – who is healthy and strong and good-hearted and willingly endures the likes of me.  And I knew deep in my heart and soul that he didn’t deserve the treatment I had just given him.

I’m certain that God revealed the scene that unfolded in front of my eyes to put a check in my spirit, to remind me to be grateful for my marriage partner, even if he does push my buttons.  And God reminded me that I need to season my words with grace and love and patience and kindness.

Because someday, we may be the old married couple sitting in a restaurant without our family along, tending to the other because one of us isn’t capable.   

When we arrived home, I tearfully asked my husband if he had seen them.   Yes, he had noticed them and he had one observation to make, “That’s what marriage is all about.”

On that best day of the year which started out so poorly, I was reminded why it’s important for me to remember love –  true honest to goodness love that lasts a lifetime for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part. 

And I thank God for the lesson I learned. Thank you for this day.

©2013 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

  

Fall surprises

Surprise!  That’s the nice way I started my morning today in my book of Opportunity, Page 23 in Chapter 9.

A blogging buddy of mine Georgette Sullins bestowed the Versatile Blogger Award on me.  Thank you for thinking of me!  Georgette and I became friends way back in April when she commented on my Freshly Pressed post, When Nature Shows No Mercy .   I find Georgette’s blog always fascinating as she chronicles endearing stories to be saved and cherished for her family.

Since this is the first time I’ve been honored with the Versatile Blogger Award, I researched it to find there are rules to follow.   So here goes:

Rule #1 – Thank the award-giver and link back to them in your post.   (As the kids would say, Georgette, you rock!)

Rule #2 – Tell your readers seven (7) things about yourself.  (Prepare yourself, dear readers, these are very random!)

1. I launched this blog on a whim, partly because of the weird funk I found myself in after my last child graduated from college, snagged a job, and moved to the state next door, and I also I thought I’d work through the empty nest syndrome by writing about it.  But this blog has morphed into more than just an empty nest activity.  Writing again has given me great joy and I’ve met some delightful friends through blogging.
2. Hubby and I come from families with ‘three of a kind’ (I’m one of three sisters; he’s one of three brothers).  But we were dealt a ‘pair and a spare.’   After our two daughters, our third child was a boy.  We were so certain we were having another girl, we didn’t even have a boy’s name chosen!  Sonograms weren’t very definitive back then.
3. When I was a young girl, I dreamed of being famous.  (What little girl doesn’t?)  At first, I thought I’d be a legendary actress, but later I decided I’d be a renowned writer.  Hmmm…so far, my only claim to ‘fame’ might be my one-time freshly pressed experience.
4. I’ve experimented with a few different careers – teacher, newspaper reporter/editor, technical editor, and in the last 10 years, working part-time for a non-profit.  But my absolute favorite occupation (and my most important one) has been motherhood. I was blessed to be a stay at home mom for 19 years!
5. My new found interest is photography – both taking pictures and looking at others’ beautiful shots.  I used to just click my camera to document special occasions, vacations, or my kids’ events.  Now, I grab it when I see something interesting or I just want to experiment.  I’m not very good at it, but I find it fun.
6. My perspective on life totally changed when I was diagnosed with early stage and very treatable cancer 6 years ago.  The whirlwind of diagnosis, surgery, and treatment left me dazed, but later so profoundly grateful for life and much more aware of the precious moments in it.
7. I don’t like seafood or coffee.  My husband loves both.

Rule #3 – Give this award to up to fifteen (15) recently discovered bloggers.

I’m veering from the rule here because my first award goes to a blog I’ve been reading for over a year now, so she’s not recently discovered, she’s one of my “must-reads” –  Homestead Rambling’s Blog.  We became instant and life-long friends when she found my blog and started commenting.  We’ve realized we are kindred spirits with so much in common, including our faith.  She truly is a versatile blogger because her posts may be informative, humorous, encouraging, or inspiring.  Right now, she’s writing about her recent journey to Alaska, a land that seems to be calling to her, and from her pictures, I can sure see why.

Crossing the Line  also deserves this award.  This blogging buddy has been one of my cheerleaders for some time.  Her comments always make me feel valued and appreciated as a writer.  I relish reading her posts on her relatively new blogging adventure.  As she honestly writes about the aspects of life that invite her to ‘cross the line’ and move forward on her personal growth journey, she reminds us all about our human frailties and how we can choose to take a different path.  She’s on my ‘must-read’ list too.

Rule #4 – Contact those bloggers and let them in on the exciting news.  (Boom, done, finished.  Emails complete.)

For now, I’m signing off.  My favorite season of fall arrives with some of my favorite people – the pair and the spare all will fly back to the nest this weekend!  We’ll have a full house with a family day Sunday.  That’s a gift that’s even better than a blogger award!

©2011 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com