A valentine special

Photo by Rinck Content Studio on Unsplash

When February rolls around on the calendar, a lot of folks’ fancy turns to celebrating Valentine’s Day.

Love it or hate it, this holiday is a mushy-gushy popular one with the masses if you consider all the merchandise available in stores and online.

Papa and I do not celebrate Valentine’s Day with each other any longer. After three years of dating and 43 years of marriage, I truly don’t need a stuffed teddy bear wrapped up in a big red bow holding a fragrant or fake rose or a box of chocolates to tell me that my husband loves me.

He demonstrates his love for me every single day by the way he treats me, the loving ways he supports me, and in his kind manner of doing things for me. And I strive to do the same for him. So, we banished the cards and gifts a long time ago as truly not necessary because really, shouldn’t every day be like Valentine’s Day?

One of our offspring doesn’t care much for this holiday, not even when she was a teenager. To her, Valentine gifts and mushy greeting cards just seem overly showy and even insincere. I fear she resembles her mother when it comes to outlandish, unnecessary gifts and grandiose words of affection because those things don’t fill our emotional tanks like they do for some folks.

Instead, show us how much you love us by your actions – kind of ‘put your money where your mouth is.’ And by that I mean, don’t spend money on gifts, just mean what you say and prove it with your actions.

But since Valentine’s Day is fairly successful as a consumer-driven holiday, obviously many people enjoy the gift, card, and flower buying and receiving. Now please don’t think I’m berating those of you who love receiving or giving gifts, I’m not. I understand each person has a different “love language” and that may be yours. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Of course, the focus of Valentine’s Day seems to center on romantic love, but not everyone has a romantic relationship. So, maybe the holiday would prove more meaningful for everyone if we included demonstrating our love for our families, love for our friends, love for our neighbors, love for our fellow humankind – the way God intends for us to love one another.

When I recall Valentine’s Day in the past, I remember using construction paper to decorate a shoebox which I took to elementary school to be used as a “mailbox” for simple Valentine cards from my classmates. But two other fond memories of this holiday are foremost in my mind and both came from my father’s actions.

When I was just a youngster around three or four, my daddy sent me a big Valentine card in the U.S. mail. He could have just brought it home with him that day but instead he mailed it because he knew it would make me feel special. What a surprise that was and how excited I was to receive my own personal mail addressed just to me! That experience was such a treasure that I actually still possess that card – one I’ve kept in a safe spot for over 60 years.

The second memory is what my father did every year. On Valentine’s Day, he always brought home a big heart-shaped box of chocolate candies for my mother and three smaller ones for his three girls – my sisters and me.

This tradition continued even after my sisters, who were several years older than I was,  married. Dad still bought all of us Valentine candy. Years later after I married Papa and moved out of state, I continued receiving a package in the mail just in time for Valentine’s Day. A heart-shaped box of chocolates from my Dad.

At some point, we told Dad he could stop buying us candy since we really didn’t need those extra calories. I don’t know if he was disappointed with our decision or not. But now, I realize that those red and pink boxes bedecked with ribbons and filled with chocolates wasn’t the point.

It was the thought that counted. It was a loving husband and father reminding his wife and daughters that he loved and cared for them and in his eyes, they were special.

I remember my father’s loving gestures, which extended far beyond Valentine’s Day, with some melancholy tears brimming in my eyes, as I prepare little packages filled with Valentine goodies for my three grandchildren.

Do they need those little gifts? No, not really. But since two of them live in another state and Nana and Papa can’t visit them as often as we’d like (especially now), we must send Valentine greetings by mail.

All three of our grandchildren will receive special mail addressed just to them and those packages are reminders from Nana and Papa that we care about them, we love them, and they are all so precious to us.

So, in a way, we will celebrate Valentine’s Day this year by sending our love in a special package by mail.

“A bell’s not a bell ’til you ring it – A song’s not a song ’til you sing it – Love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay – Love isn’t love ’til you give it away.” ~ Oscar Hammerstein

©mamasemptynest.wordpress.com  2021

Overflowing with birthday presence

I’m still on “birthday mode” here in the empty nest. I actually celebrated my birthday milestone – turning 60 – for several days through last weekend and into Monday, which was my actual birth date.

What good are birthdays if we don’t celebrate another year of life? When we’re youngsters, our birthdays are big deals. Really big deals with parties and excitement and cake and ice cream and presents. We especially get excited about the gifts part!

But as we get older, birthdays seem like just another day. Another day, another year. Oh well. I’m starting to sound like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh here. But I must admit I considered my birthdays as ho-hum for far too many years.

As I head into a new decade, I’m determined to change my ways, at least when it comes to celebrating. I’ve spent plenty of time looking back, but hey, my life’s not over yet! It’s time to look forward and to rejoice for things to come. To revel and cheer for each day as it arrives.

English poet, Alexander Pope wrote in one of his poems, “Pleas’d to look forward, pleas’d to look behind, And count each birthday with a grateful mind.”

That sentiment exactly expresses my desire. To count each birthday (all 60 of them so far!) with a grateful mind.

So what am I most thankful for concerning this birthday that I’m still commemorating? The birthday presence. No, I didn’t spell that wrong. Not birthday presents, instead birthday presence.

See I’m one of those people whose love language actually encompasses two – words of affirmation and quality time.  If you haven’t figured out your language yet, you can take the ‘test’ developed by Dr. Gary Chapman by clicking here. 

Nothing makes me feel more loved and appreciated than affirming words and spending time together with the ones I love.  Telling me why you care for me blesses me more than a basket full of gifts. That’s probably why those kind and positive comments I receive on this blog mean so much to me.

But you know what else really floats my love boat?  Your presence. Real life time together sharing conversations and activities.  Giving me your undivided attention makes me feel oh, so special.

Which is why my love boat not only floated, it cruised along down the river of contentment for this birthday. In more ways than one.

Oldest daughter and son-in-law made the 7 hour (one-way) drive to spend my birthday weekend here and brought along their new kitten for us to meet and play with. Middle daughter came too (son-in-law had to work) and brought a yummy cake from one of our tastiest bakeries.  Son and daughter-in-law could not make the long trip due also to work commitments but sent me a gorgeous, colorful bouquet of flowers, and son and I had a long phone conversation, just the two of us, while daughter-in-law sent a sweet text message to me from her business trip out west.

But it wasn’t the cake or the flowers that filled up my love tank, although I loved them and the sweet thoughts behind them. Instead, the words expressed in writing and in person made me feel cherished. And the time we spent together doing something fun as a family (that quality time!) really ramped it up several notches.

And it REALLY floated my boat! I mean literally! Saturday afternoon, Papa took us all for a treat. We drove into our nearby city, Pittsburgh, where we rode the famous incline to the top of Mt. Washington where you can see one of the most beautiful views of our city. We stopped for an ice cream break together just enjoying the sunshine and good company.

Back down the incline we rode to Station Square where we took an excursion I’ve always wanted to experience. We rode the Ducks! We went on Just Ducky Tours,  a tour of the city on land and in the water of one of our three rivers. If you’re not familiar with duck boats, they are actually converted World War II military vehicles called DUKWs. The boats with tires were used in amphibious operations during the war and most notably on D-Day in 1944.

So you see, my love boat really did cruise down the river – down the Ohio River. I loved it! It was fun, it was relaxing, and it was a true blessing to experience it all with part of my family.  What a great way to celebrate life.  Oh yes, my heart overflows with gratefulness and love and this birthday was like a fountain of joy.

“God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.” ~ Voltaire

©2014 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

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