Three years ago this month, I had no idea.
I had no idea what the future held and what was in store for me.
I had no idea that I could love another with such fierceness and intensity.
I had no idea that becoming a grandmother would fill my heart with such amazing joy.
Three years ago this month, Papa’s and my first grandchild was born on a bitterly cold, dark, middle-of the night, wee hours of the morning day.
She was tiny, but the love that swelled inside my heart for this itty-bitty darling the first time I held her in my arms was mammoth.
After waiting hours upon hours in the hospital for her arrival, we got our first glimpse of her and held her. And even though we had been up all day and night waiting for her entry into this world, I found myself so excited and thrilled that I couldn’t sleep afterwards.
For months prior to her birth, I wondered how I would take to grandparenthood. I confess that I wasn’t always the best mother, sometimes so impatient with my own children. And I feared I’d be the same with a grandchild.
On top of that, I’ve never really been a ‘baby person.’ What I mean by that is that if given a choice between sitting in a church nursery with babies and teaching a wild group of teens, I’d take the teens any day.
Babies just weren’t ‘my thing.’ Don’t get me wrong, I loved my own three babies and being their mother, but parenting infants and toddlers was a challenge for me.
But that all changed the day my first grandchild gripped her tiny hand around my finger. That all changed when I gazed into her eyes. And when I photographed her teeny feet.
That all changed as I cradled her in my arms. And rocked her to sleep. And felt her warm fuzzy head against my shoulder.
That all changed as I welcomed her into my heart and it swelled to gargantuan proportions with perfect love.
“Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild.” ~ Welsh Proverb
And now that newborn baby is a child. A child turning three years old. A child with a mind of her own. A child who cracks me up with the things she says. And does.
A child who melts my heart every time she crawls into my lap, wraps her arms around my neck, and tells me, “I love you, Nana!”
So this month, I will not only celebrate the third birthday of my first grandchild, but will celebrate the day I became a Nana. What a wonderful day it was and is.
“If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I’d have had them first.” ~ Lois Wyse