Three years later

Three years ago this month, I had no idea.

I had no idea what the future held and what was in store for me.

I had no idea that I could love another with such fierceness and intensity.

I had no idea that becoming a grandmother would fill my heart with such amazing joy.

Three years ago this month, Papa’s and my first grandchild was born on a bitterly cold, dark, middle-of the night, wee hours of the morning day.

She was tiny, but the love that swelled inside my heart for this itty-bitty darling the first time I held her in my arms was mammoth.

After waiting hours upon hours in the hospital for her arrival, we got our first glimpse of her and held her. And even though we had been up all day and night waiting for her entry into this world, I found myself so excited and thrilled that I couldn’t sleep afterwards.

For months prior to her birth, I wondered how I would take to grandparenthood. I confess that I wasn’t always the best mother, sometimes so impatient with my own children. And I feared I’d be the same with a grandchild.

On top of that, I’ve never really been a ‘baby person.’ What I mean by that is that if given a choice between sitting in a church nursery with babies and teaching a wild group of teens, I’d take the teens any day.

Babies just weren’t ‘my thing.’ Don’t get me wrong, I loved my own three babies and being their mother, but parenting infants and toddlers was a challenge for me.

But that all changed the day my first grandchild gripped her tiny hand around my finger. That all changed when I gazed into her eyes. And when I photographed her teeny feet.

That all changed as I cradled her in my arms. And rocked her to sleep. And felt her warm fuzzy head against my shoulder.

That all changed as I welcomed her into my heart and it swelled to gargantuan proportions with perfect love.

“Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild.” ~ Welsh Proverb

And now that newborn baby is a child. A child turning three years old. A child with a mind of her own. A child who cracks me up with the things she says. And does.

A child who melts my heart every time she crawls into my lap, wraps her arms around my neck, and tells me, “I love you, Nana!”

So this month, I will not only celebrate the third birthday of my first grandchild, but will celebrate the day I became a Nana. What a wonderful day it was and is.

“If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I’d have had them first.” ~ Lois Wyse

©2018 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

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Of butterflies and raspberries

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playing with an inchworm

Grandparenting. It is so much more than I ever expected.

Recently, our daughter (and Little One’s mommy) resumed her career as a hospital nurse and this Nana was transported back into the world of providing care for a toddler full-time on the days daughter works.

I find it interesting that the everyday occurrences that drove me crazy when my own children were this age– spilt milk messes, toys strewn willy nilly across the floor making it an obstacle course, constant activity except during nap times, sticky finger smudges everywhere  – don’t bother me.

Is it that grandparents are wiser than we were as parents?  Is it that we recognize that we only have so much time with our sweet grandchildren so we don’t ‘sweat the small stuff’ anymore? Or have we finally reached the age where we just don’t care as much about appearances but relish time spent together with our child’s child?

The former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani once said, “What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies.”

This statement rings true for me and not just the cookie part. Pure unconditional love that just about makes my heart explode is what I’ve felt for this grandchild since I cradled her in my arms shortly after her birth. I find humor in things she does that I never would have laughed at as a young mom. I recognize that I’m much more patient with Little One than I ever was with my children.

No longer do I worry about whether the bathroom gets cleaned or the laundry is finished like I did when my kids were small. Instead I willingly spend all day just playing and exploring the world with my granddaughter.

And she is one busy bee. So inquisitive and so full of wanting to learn and do and examine and discover. Sometimes I feel guilty thinking that perhaps I didn’t spend enough time doing the same things with my children. And I wonder if that’s the thing – grandparents are given a second chance to ‘get it right’ with our grandchildren.

Since her mama leaves for work before the crack of dawn, Little One wakes up to find Nana lifting her from her crib. She definitely misses her mommy because she inquires about her upon awakening in the mornings, after naps, and often during the day by asking ‘mum?’ I tell her mommy’s at work, Little One nods her head and says yes, and I reassure her that mama will be home later.

Nana and Little One have settled into a nice routine. Last week we had beautiful fall weather – warm, sunny days when we could be outside playing and exploring in the mornings after the temperature warmed up and the dew on the grass dried. 

After a bit of time playing in the sand box, we went for walks around our 2.25 acre yard and made visits to the garden where Roma tomatoes, zucchini, Brussel sprouts, and sunflowers were still producing.

She enjoyed picking tomatoes and wanted me to lift her up high so she could gaze into the sunflowers’ cheery faces. From there we ventured to the raspberry bushes to pick this last crop for the year.  Little One loves raspberries and eats them faster than I can pick them.

One day on our way back to the house with our bounty, we spied a butterfly which had lit upon the grass.  She pointed to it and as I told her to be gentle, she crouched down and touched the delicate creature.

I couldn’t believe it didn’t fly away immediately but it stayed in place while she touched it yet again. When it took off soaring into the air, floating and flitting around us, Little One laughed happily and clapped her hands. Such a simple thing that brought such merriment. 

Another day we examined the leaves on our maple trees and saw that they are starting to turn from green to red and also that some leaves had already fallen on the ground. As she picked up some of the fallen leaves, I noticed a tiny green inchworm.  She giggled with delight when the little critter crawled on her hand.

It’s a full and, to be honest, tiring day taking care of our Little One but watching her eyes light up over a new discovery gives me so much joy.  She doesn’t miss a thing whether it’s spotting an airplane soaring overhead, watching birds chow down at the bird feeder after we fill it, or an ant crawling across the sidewalk.

I’m just so blessed and grateful to be able to spend this time with her and nothing compares to the hugs and kisses our sweet girl bestows on me.

I wouldn’t trade being a Nana for anything in the world and come December, I’ll have two sweet grandbabies to love. Double perfection. 

“Truth be told, being a grandma is as close as we ever get to perfection. The ultimate warm sticky bun with plump raisins and nuts. Clouds nine, ten, and eleven.” – Bryna Nelson Paston

©2016 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

A year of firsts

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First birthday!

It’s the first day of March, so it seems appropriate to proclaim another kind of first. Actually here at Mama’s Empty Nest, it’s been a year of firsts.

Last month, we celebrated one of those firsts – our grandbaby’s first birthday. I know it sounds trite, but truly it is hard to believe a year has come and gone since that amazing day when Papa and I became grandparents (PaPa and Nana) to our very first grandchild.

And what a year of firsts it has been ever since!

First of all, I never realized how much unconditional love can swell up inside your heart until it feels like it might just explode when you lay eyes on that first grandchild of yours.  Friends who were already grandparents tried to explain it to me but I just didn’t get it…not until I held that little bundle of pure joy in my own arms.

And then there’s the firsts of watching that tiny baby becoming her own person. Every milestone a grandbaby achieves, every first from the first smile to the first step fills your heart with so much love, joy, delight, wonder, the list goes on…it’s pretty indescribable.

And being a special Nana to our little darling has exceeded my wildest expectations. When she reaches for me with her tiny little arms, I melt.

When she gives me that adorable toothy grin, I melt.

When she curls up in my lap to read a book together, I melt.

When she giggles and squeals, I melt.

When her eyes light up with excitement, I melt.

When she learns something new and we clap our hands right along with her to celebrate her achievement, I melt.

When she toddles all over the house with those cute little baby steps, I melt.

Often I just gaze at her in wonder…and I melt.  And sometimes tears come to my eyes when I realize how overwhelmed I am with love for this adorable little human being.

With so many firsts crammed into this first year of baby’s life, her mama just had to celebrate by holding a first birthday party for her. 

Family and friends gathered together for her ‘Winter One-derland’ celebration one Sunday afternoon in February, the month our little snowflake turned one year old.  Her aunties and uncles on her mama’s side traveled from miles away just to celebrate this first birthday with the baby niece (their first) who has captivated their hearts as well.   

And even though it was one frigidly cold winter day, our hearts were made warm watching baby girl dressed in her frilly pink, lavender, pale blue, and white tutu (made by her mama) enjoy her first big party in her honor.  

You might say this Nana’s heart was one big melted puddle. And that wasn’t the first time. 

“Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild.” ~Welsh Proverb

©2016 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

Hanging around and waiting

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Grand-parenthood awaits me.  Our middle daughter and her husband are expecting our first grandchild, a little girl.  Sugar and spice and everything nice. And we can’t wait.

But that’s exactly what we must do.  Wait.  So as the due date nears, we’re just hanging around waiting for our granddaughter to make her appearance.  And to kiss those little toes that will fill these tiny little socks.

You know that old saying, “Good things come to those who wait.”

I’m having a hard time waiting for this good gift, this little blessing,  from the Lord.  But wait, we will. She will arrive when she is ready and Papa and I are more than ready to be her grandparents. We’re ready for our family to start connecting the dots. 

“Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation.” ~Lois Wyse

©2015 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com