When love is a midnight run to Wal-Mart

blogIMG_6495 (2)I’ve been down with a creeping crud for over a week now. And when you’re sick, you have lots of time to think in between sessions of much needed naps, hacking up a lung, medicating, emptying yet another box of tissues, and just generally lying around feeling awful.

And my husband…he who probably shared his contagion with me (although he did not have this crud as severely as I have)…he’s been his typical self.  His serving self.  His loving self.

And that has caused me to think about one subject in particular.

Love.  It’s been defined in so many ways.  Most think love is the ooey gooey feeling you get when you’re infatuated with someone.  Others confuse love with lustfulness.

We humans romanticize love.  Feelings, attraction, hearts and flowers and romantic gestures.  Of course they all have a part in convincing yourself you’re in love. And that love leads a young lady in white lace and a young man with promises on his lips to the altar of marriage.

But what does love look like after decades of marriage? What is it like after the bouts of in sickness and health?  For richer or poorer? For better or worse?  Will it last until death do us part?

Here’s my definition of love, in no particular order.

Love is:

  • phoning home every night you’re away on business just to let her know where you are;
  • sacrificing your wants for the welfare of your family;
  • holding her hair back while she throws up every morning in the early stages of pregnancy;
  • supporting her in every endeavor she tries and encouraging her when she fails;
  • cleaning and dressing her 28 staples long incision from cancer surgery and caring for her during recovery;
  • going to a steak restaurant for your anniversary because she doesn’t like seafood but you love it;
  • getting up countless times a night to rock that third baby back to sleep even though you have to work the next morning;
  • working hard and saving for the future just so she can stay home to nurture and care for your children;
  • holding her tightly while she is wracked with sobs of grief over the death of her parents;
  • bathing the children and putting them to bed because she’s exhausted even though you just got back from a business trip and you’re tired as well;
  • undergoing a sleep study because your snoring keeps her up at night;
  • dropping everything to assist her and the children when they need you;
  • setting a godly example as a father by not just attending church with your family but praying and reading your Bible;
  • never giving up when you’re suddenly without a job;
  • standing out in the pouring rain/freezing cold/snowstorm to fill her car with gas because you know she needs it in the morning;
  • taking off work to sit in a hospital waiting room with her while your teenage/adult child has surgery;
  • listening to her pour out the things that scare her, trouble her, and cause her to cry out in heart-brokenness and reassuring her you’ll always be there to help;
  • standing up for her, protecting her, providing for her, and caring for her;
  • midnight trips to Wal-Mart because the flu is keeping her from sleep and she’s all out of cold remedies.

Love is putting the other person’s needs ahead of your own.

Love is my husband of 38 years.

©2015 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

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12 responses

  1. So thankful you have your sweet hubby every day, but….especially on those days when you are in need of the all the supplies to beat the crud. Bless his heart, and I know you would do the same for him cause you two have real love. Blessings as you recuperate!!!

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  2. When my (now) husband and I had been together about 5 months, I came down with a really nasty flu bug. He took exceptional care of me – holding my hair back when I was throwing up, bringing me ginger ale and saltines, wiping my sweaty brow with a cold cloth, fetching whatever I needed. When I’d wake up from a fitful sleep, he was always there – sitting on the floor by the end of the bed (he refused to sit on the bed, lest he disturb me). No one had ever taken care of me this way before! Its easy to say ‘I love you’; his actions showed me how true those words were (and still are!)

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  3. You made me cry with this one. Those are indeed the portraits of true love and how lucky we are to have found it. Also – I hope you feel a whole lot better now and heading toward total recuperation.

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    • The fact that you cried tells me you too recognize and appreciate what love really means, Dor. And yes, we are so blessed to have loving husbands, aren’t we? Thanks for the get well wishes, I’m trying but — cough, cough — this stupid crud just won’t let go of me!

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  4. Oh Cindy, I agree with everything you wrote! And I’m so happy I stopped by blog-land this evening, to enjoy your lovely words. It sounds like your marriage is one for the fairy-tale books! 🙂 My husband and I have been married 15 years. He is the love of my life. My grandmother once said “he fell out of heaven for you.” She was right. I am so happy to read these sweet words, and to leave my check-in with you on such a great note. I’m glad you are so happy, even when you’re sick! Hope you knock that cold soon!

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    • Sweet Melissa, so glad you stopped by….I miss you, girl! Not to burst your bubble, but my husband and I have not had that fairy-tale marriage. We’ve had our struggles and difficulties but always chose to be forgiving and work things through because we believe in commitment and our faith also guided us a lot. 🙂 But thank you for your lovely comment and I just KNEW you had the love of your life in your hubby. I bet your grandmother was right!

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