Swimming through the wall

blogIMG_5042“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” ~ Michael Jordan

I’m not saying Michael Jordan is a great philosopher.  Or a wise sage.  Or an inspirational guru.  But I will say this: that quote I found that’s attributed to him speaks to me right now.

You see, I’ve hit a wall.  I’ve been away from blogging for about a month.  I haven’t written a darn thing in that entire time.  Oh, I was busy. I spent the better part of a month at my daughter’s home helping with my adorable and precious new grand-baby, cleaning, laundering, cooking, etc.  Frankly, I didn’t have time to write.

But I’m home now, back in the empty nest and even though there’s plenty to do, my camera is laden with photos galore, and my computer sits idle, I can’t think of a thing to say.  I’m not sure if it’s that I’m exhausted in many ways, or that my emotions have been on high alert, or that I just am speechless right now, but I’ve hit the wall hard.

It’s not a brick wall because if it were, I’m fairly certain I have the willpower to knock it down – yeah, I’m strong-willed like that.  No, this wall is different.  It’s fluid.  It swallows me up.  It causes me to drift away.  It ebbs and flows.  It sucks me into its whirlpool effect.  And it’s drowning my words.

The photo above seems to be a perfect representation for how I’m feeling and for this past week’s photo challenge theme: Wall.

I took the photo during the long wait outside the labor and delivery department in the hospital while my grand-daughter was making her entry into this world. 

It was around two in the morning and a running water sculpture encased in glass kept grabbing my attention while we waited…and waited…and waited.  It just kept running and bubbling along ticking off the hours as we patiently anticipated our first grandchild’s birth.

I snapped the photo because I needed something to occupy my time and I thought the water ‘wall’ would make an interesting photo. 

I never thought it would describe exactly how I’m feeling right now nor did I imagine it would personify a photo challenge. 

But I do know one thing.  Eventually, I’ll push my way through the wall, even if I have to do the backstroke.  My words will come back.  I’ll rise to the surface and be able to express all the joy and love that is captive in my heart.   And I’ll be writing again.

“A boundary is not that at which something stops, but that from which something begins.” ~ Martin Heidegger

©2015 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

 

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15 responses

  1. I feel exactly the same (and have … off and on … for the past six or so months). It may have something to do with our age, our circumstances, or just the ebb and flow of life and creativity. I’ve stopped worrying (too much :)) about it because I know the time will come when I’ll need to speak my mind once again; it just takes patience.

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  2. I think this is understandable; you’ve had a lot of emotions going on in the past few weeks. At times, I feel that I just have nothing to say, too. We’ll be here waiting when you decide to write again!

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  3. Have been against, into, through and all the things you described. It will get better, but only time can heal the situations. Love you and your family very much. Keep on keeping on. Sometimes I feel that God lets us experience hardships in order to be more understanding and able to help those around us.

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  4. No doubt you have been on an emotional roller coaster (or maybe just an emotional high) with the birth of your first granddaughter, and that has brought you to an entirely new place in life. I sympathize about being in a new place in life right now and just getting used to the “scenery” of this new place. I am always in awe of people that can “keep on keeping on” when they are in such a new place and season of life, but I think it’s perfectly normal to just take time and process… and get back to things in their own perfect time. If you want to resume writing, it will come at the perfect time for you. Just don’t feel one bit guilty about it. As women, we all too often lay guilt on ourselves when we have no reason to do so. I have been writing more privately over the past few weeks, and that has been good for me, just random thoughts, prayers, memories, etc. Take care and enjoy this wonderful new season of life in the way you are meant to enjoy it!

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  5. Congratulations on your granddaughter! I am just finding my away over (around…under…through…) a wall, as I occasionally have to do with my blogging. There are often weeks on end where inspiration seems to come from every corner and then….the wall. Best wishes to you in finding your way!

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