When life throws you a curve ball

cold-snow-black-and-white-road.jpgIt’s Saturday, but it feels like Sunday.  You ever have one of those days that you just don’t know what to do with yourself?

All’s quiet in the empty nest today.  Bizarre, wacky dreams prevented me from awakening early this morning.

Instead of seizing the day, I drifted along in that deep sleep state where you’re cognizant that you need to get out of bed, but you keep getting sucked back into dreamland.  It’s like you’re in a dream maze and you can’t find your way out!

I compare it to being heavily sedated for an operation. The first time I had major surgery, I was zonked out in the recovery room afterwards and I could hear someone faintly calling my name.  It seemed like I was in the depths of the ocean and every time I heard my name, I tried to swim up to the surface, but I just couldn’t break the water’s hold on me.

So today, my Page 15, Chapter One, in my book of Opportunity (January 15) started out in a strange way.  I couldn’t shake the bizarre dreams I encountered – no doubt some anxiety (which I’ve managed to push away during the day) over our circumstances is emerging in my dreams.  After breakfast, hubby and I ran some errands and picked up a few groceries.

Nowhere else to go, nothing else to do, so we came back home.  To a hushed house.  A clean house.  A house nestling in what looks like a snow globe.  A house that used to ring with laughter and activity.  A house that now echoes silence.

What to do? What to do?  I’m feeling a little antsy but can’t claim cabin fever, because in our neck of the woods, we’re not snow-bound.  Hubby must be feeling it as well.  He abandoned his book for a go at his work bench in the basement.

What’s he doing?  Arranging tools?  Taking something apart?  At least now there is audible sound –  clanking, banging and shuffling.  Kitty cat is curled up in a snug as a bug in a rug ball on the love seat, sleeping away the day as she always does.

What I’m experiencing is extremely rare – just sitting in my favorite chair on a Saturday afternoon with nothing pressing on my to-do list!  I feel like I’m just waiting…for what?  For more snow?  For my kids to burst in the door laughing and teasing each other?  For the other shoe to drop?

I don’t know.  I feel no impetus to start a project, so I just turn on the lap-top, browse around some blogs, enlighten myself with email, and end up fiddling around on Facebook.

John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.”  Well today, it seems I have no plans, but life still happens.  The plans we’ve made for this time in our lives have been altered.  I have no clue what lies ahead of us.

But just for today, this odd-feeling day when I’m experiencing restlessness and uncertainty, I’ve received encouragement from others.  And if you, my reader, are encountering a day like I am, my hope is to share some inspiration with you.

Here’s some insight I gained from a Facebook friend’s status today.  “Falling down is part of LIFE.  Getting back up is LIVING.”

I’m not ready to say, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”  Are you?  Life may throw me a curve ball and I could even strike out at the plate and land on my backside, but that curve ball won’t keep me down.

A new but very dear friend emailed this to me today: “Although you’ve talked about fear, you haven’t really shown any fear or worry or stress, even though it must be a constant factor/fight in your days… but you are a picture of stalwart faith.  I know it can’t be easy.  You have given me inspiration to be more like the Rock to which we all hold on to.”

Well, I don’t feel like a picture of stalwart faith, but I’m not a wallower.  I will persevere and I will rely on God to give me strength to do so.  Will you?

And yet another friend posted this on Facebook – “As long as you’re holding on to the past, you’ll never experience God’s best. Know that God is still in control of your life. If you’ll let go of the old, God has promised He will bring you a new beginning.”

So just as He promised, tomorrow is another day, another beginning.  Are you ready to start over?  I am!

©2011 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com


2 responses

  1. Wow–been going through the exact same phase of life—amazing. After years of insomnia, finally slept like a baby until the ice storm–then too quiet–and had strange dreams–just like you were saying! Missed hearing the kids teasing and laughing down the hall. The weekends come and I’m not working on Saturdays and Sundays right now and I literally do not know WHAT to do with myself! Like you, I figured out I’m very project-oriented, but most of mine are so huge to tackle don’t know where to start. (Mainly photographs!) I was very inspired by your post about cleaning out old stuff–and yes, my husband I did find some old sentimental material–that we got teary over. So glad to know I’m not alone! Thank you for this post!


    • Well, gal, you are definitely NOT alone! It does sound like we are living parallel lives. I think it just goes with the territory of empty nesthood. 😦 But aren’t weekends the hardest? Even when my kids were in college, we were fortunate enough to be able to travel to some of their sporting events. It just seemed like there was always something to DO….now, not so much. Oh I hear you about the projects…photographs, oh what a chore. I spent hours and I do mean hours last year trying to get our pictures in order, along with all the ones we inherited from our deceased parents. Guess what hubby found in our basement clean-out?? More pictures! Good luck with that one. And thanks for your always encouraging comments. It helps to know someone else totally gets me.


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