Who am I? (an introduction)

blogDSCN6832Struggles serve to strengthen me.  In those tough times of trials, I lean on my faith in Christ to bolster me.

Sometimes I just want to throw up my hands and say I give up!  But this inner resolve propels me to buck up and deal.  I may fall apart afterward, but somehow, my Savior always brings me through the trials by fire.

I’m currently struggling with some issues, not major life-changing, death-defying issues, just things that need settled.  I could chalk it up to all the changes that have taken place in my life in the last year or so: the empty nest syndrome, losing my father, feeling disconnected in places I should feel attached, and so forth.

These changes are just a part of life although that doesn’t make them less difficult to work through.  But I know without a doubt, I trust and have complete confidence that God will show me something amazing.   He is moving in ways that cause me to feel so blessed even in the midst of struggles.

I’m a little baffled to be writing about this subject on such a glorious fall day.  This is my kind of weather.  The sun is shining magnificently, skies are blue, and the temperature is comfortably warm.

It’s such a lovely day – the kind that renders me grateful and content –  so hubby and I enjoyed a brief respite from chores by sitting together on the front porch swing soaking up the sunshine. We noticed our summer flowers are all fading but the few that are pictured here, and soon they too will be finished for the season.

I also have a season that I need to finish. Writing about difficulties doesn’t really fit my cheerful mood today but I imagine I should prepare readers for my next blog posts, a four-part series I’ve stewed over for several weeks.  They involve a struggle that I’ve dealt with the past year.  In order to enlighten you about why I’m grappling with this issue, I needed to do a lot of explaining, hence the four-part series.

I hope this doesn’t bog down my few faithful readers because I don’t want to bore or lose them, but I truly feel God leading me to publish my battle in hopes that it may help someone else.   Since I am a writer at heart, nailing down all of my feelings in written word helped me process the conflict.

For me often times, God uses images, songs or simply a word to teach and show me His purposes and plans.  So please bear with me, follow along with each day’s post [starting tomorrow], and I promise we will progress to the point.   I also want readers to know that after this series is published, I may take a few days break from my blog, but I will return shortly.  I promise!

And that brings me to my thought for today.  Many days as I sit down at my computer to write in my mostly daily blog, I think that I have absolutely nothing to say that anyone would want to spend time actually reading.   And then it happens.  God plants images, songs or thoughts in my brain, and my hands commence typing coherent (at least I hope so!) posts with a meaningful (again I hope!) message.

As the words appear on my computer screen, I am amazed at what God reveals to me and I feel so unbelievably undeserving and humble that He would use my (His) words to try to encourage and bless others.  I am not a person of importance; instead I’m just like the fading flowers, I have no more influence than a passing vapor.

So I ask Him, “Who am I that you would love me so much? Who am I that you would care about my struggles and show me the way through them?  And who am I that you should use me in this way?”   His answer to me is in this Casting Crowns song, one of my favorites, I am His!  I hope you find He is your answer as well.

Isaiah 40:8 ~ “The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.”

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