Running away

blogvacation2“We run away all the time to avoid coming face to face with ourselves.” ~Author Unknown

For a good portion of this middle-aged empty nest Mama’s life, I couldn’t wait to get back home.

And now that I am home, I occasionally think about running away.  Get outta town!  Really??

We often use the phrase ‘get outta town’ when we don’t believe a whopper of a story someone tells us.  You just saw a Martian walking down Main Street?  Get outta town!  Bigfoot’s camping out in your back yard? Get outta town! You just won $10 million in the lottery?  Get outta town!

You feel like selling your house and moving? Get outta town! Most people who know me well would be shocked to hear me admit that sometimes I think about that very thing.  They know I waited so long to finally move back to my home state and stay put in one spot for a change.

See, for many years, Mama’s family was on the move due to hubby’s job changes and re-locations.  We managed through four moves in the first seven years of our marriage and three moves in the next eight years.  After six years, we made the biggest move of all – from one coast of our country to another.

And we’ve succeeded in planting ourselves firmly back here in the homeland for almost 13 years.  So why this sudden urge to run away from home?  I have no idea where this goofy idea is coming from.

The other night, too bushed to blog, I mindlessly surfed the net when an internet article caught my attention in a big way.  The site listed real estate offerings in other states, and I started perusing them.

“Oh, look hubby, want to move to South Carolina?  We could buy this house for [insert listing price here].  Or here’s a foreclosure on a new house in [such and such place] Georgia.”   He answered, “Sure,” probably just to jolt me back to reality.

Just for fun I started inserting various cities in the search engine and scrutinized listings hither and yon, which for some reason fueled a burst of enthusiasm and excitement in me.  That’s why I’m examining my motives today.  Part of me just wants to run away somewhere new like in the Carrie Underwood song, “Get Out of This Town.”

Is my urge to flee stemming from boredom?  Could it be I’m weary of the weather?  Or the colorless scene outside my window?  Or am I just looking for an escape from the trials of life?

My mother was a very wise woman.  She often said that you could never run away from your problems because no matter where you ran to, your problems would always follow you there.  That was one piece of her advice that I always chose to listen to.

I think that’s why I possess a strong determination to “just deal” with life’s problems as they come. Stick it out, persevere, work your way through it.  That’s me.  I like to imagine I’ve inherited this from my father as well whose family ancestry’s motto is “Never Despair” but perhaps the reality of it is that I’m just too stubborn to surrender.

So I guess I won’t be running away from home after all on this third page of Chapter 3 in Opportunity.  Although I certainly could use a little trip away from the bland and bleak scenery outside my window….somewhere warm, but not too hot….somewhere green where the sun spreads radiance and balminess…somewhere.

“All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why.” ~James Thurber

©2011 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

Wherefore art thou, O Spring?

blog014February is playing tricks on me.

This morning, I could have sworn spring arrived.  When I left for another day at the office, it was 56 degrees outside, early in the a.m.

Last night, we endured rain instead of snow, lightning made an electrifying appearance and thunder roared all around us like a ravenous lion.  As a child, I remember cheering boisterously at school when it thundered this time of the year because our teacher informed us those rumbling booms ushered in spring.

Hooray!  My mind applauded this morning at the mere thought of spring time making its grand appearance.  So convinced about the arrival of the season, I wanted to recite the old childhood rhyme: “Spring has sprung, the grass is riz.  I wonder where the posies is.”

Matter of fact, my brain persuaded me that I smelled earthworms, something I always associate with that “after the rain” aroma of the spring season, when I left my house.

Alas, the temperature dropped all day – it’s now 28 degrees – and the atmosphere’s still gloomy and glum while a cold wintry-like wind bites into me.  This morning, I felt certain I would discover little harbingers of spring breaking the soil’s surface around my house, but reality reveals not one sign of our perky crocuses yet.

I’m suffering from color deprivation here! I need “sunshine, lollipops and rainbows!”  I’m tired of the cheerless, dingy landscape outside my window.  I need the hope and happiness of which the spring season reminds us.  Like the late minister Virgil A. Kraft once said, “Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world.” Can I get an “Amen” to that?

I desperately desire to behold perfectly pert purple crocuses, sunshiny yellow yawning daffodils and robust red rambunctious tulips popping up in my front yard.  I yearn to yield to the fabulous fragrance of a profusion of prolific pink hyacinths,  lavishly lovely lavender lilacs and diminutive dainty delights of white nestled in lily of the valley greenery.

I need spring!  I need warmth.  I need blue skies and sunshine.  I need green grass and an array of colorful flowers.  I need budding and blossoming trees.  Heck, let’s throw in some rainbows too!

Author Paul Fleischman wrote in his book,  Seedfolks: “You can’t see Canada across Lake Erie, but you know it’s there.  It’s the same with spring.  You have to have faith, especially in Cleveland.”

Fleischman’s right and not just in Cleveland!   In my neck of the woods today, I must have faith that spring is coming.

So that’s what I’m latching onto on this last page in Chapter Two in my book of Opportunity. Goodbye February, hello March!  I know you’re bringing us one step closer to Spring.

©2011 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

When life throws you a curve ball

Image via freedigitalphotos.net

It’s Saturday, but it feels like Sunday.  You ever have one of those days that you just don’t know what to do with yourself?

All’s quiet in the empty nest today.  Bizarre, wacky dreams prevented me from awakening early this morning.

Instead of seizing the day, I drifted along in that deep sleep state where you’re cognizant that you need to get out of bed, but you keep getting sucked back into dreamland.  It’s like you’re in a dream maze and you can’t find your way out!

I compare it to being heavily sedated for an operation. The first time I had major surgery, I was zonked out in the recovery room afterwards and I could hear someone faintly calling my name.  It seemed like I was in the depths of the ocean and every time I heard my name, I tried to swim up to the surface, but I just couldn’t break the water’s hold on me.

So today, my Page 15, Chapter One, in my book of Opportunity (January 15) started out in a strange way.  I couldn’t shake the bizarre dreams I encountered – no doubt some anxiety (which I’ve managed to push away during the day) over our circumstances is emerging in my dreams.  After breakfast, hubby and I ran some errands and picked up a few groceries.

Nowhere else to go, nothing else to do, so we came back home.  To a hushed house.  A clean house.  A house nestling in what looks like a snow globe.  A house that used to ring with laughter and activity.  A house that now echoes silence.

What to do? What to do?  I’m feeling a little antsy but can’t claim cabin fever, because in our neck of the woods, we’re not snow-bound.  Hubby must be feeling it as well.  He abandoned his book for a go at his work bench in the basement.

What’s he doing?  Arranging tools?  Taking something apart?  At least now there is audible sound –  clanking, banging and shuffling.  Kitty cat is curled up in a snug as a bug in a rug ball on the love seat, sleeping away the day as she always does.

What I’m experiencing is extremely rare – just sitting in my favorite chair on a Saturday afternoon with nothing pressing on my to-do list!  I feel like I’m just waiting…for what?  For more snow?  For my kids to burst in the door laughing and teasing each other?  For the other shoe to drop?

I don’t know.  I feel no impetus to start a project, so I just turn on the lap-top, browse around some blogs, enlighten myself with email, and end up fiddling around on Facebook.

John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.”  Well today, it seems I have no plans, but life still happens.  The plans we’ve made for this time in our lives have been altered.  I have no clue what lies ahead of us.

But just for today, this odd-feeling day when I’m experiencing restlessness and uncertainty, I’ve received encouragement from others.  And if you, my reader, are encountering a day like I am, my hope is to share some inspiration with you.

Here’s some insight I gained from a Facebook friend’s status today.  “Falling down is part of LIFE.  Getting back up is LIVING.”

I’m not ready to say, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”  Are you?  Life may throw me a curve ball and I could even strike out at the plate and land on my backside, but that curve ball won’t keep me down.

A new but very dear friend emailed this to me today: “Although you’ve talked about fear, you haven’t really shown any fear or worry or stress, even though it must be a constant factor/fight in your days… but you are a picture of stalwart faith.  I know it can’t be easy.  You have given me inspiration to be more like the Rock to which we all hold on to.”

Well, I don’t feel like a picture of stalwart faith, but I’m not a wallower.  I will persevere and I will rely on God to give me strength to do so.  Will you?

And yet another friend posted this on Facebook – “As long as you’re holding on to the past, you’ll never experience God’s best. Know that God is still in control of your life. If you’ll let go of the old, God has promised He will bring you a new beginning.”

So just as He promised, tomorrow is another day, another beginning.  Are you ready to start over?  I am!

©2011 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com