Why is appropriate attire so foreign?

Dressed for the city then – Image source unknown

“The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.”  ~ Leslie Poles Hartley quotes (English Writer, 1895-1972)

If you’ve been a reader of my blog for some time now, you probably realize I love quotes.

This oddity stems from my fondness for the written word and when I find a quote that ‘speaks’ to me, I squirrel it away in my trusty quotes notebook like a treasured nut for winter’s sustenance.

Then at the appropriate time, that quote lends itself well to thoughts I may be pondering.

I’ve stewed over one idea for the past few weeks.  This particular notion presented itself when hubby I ventured into the city and it has retained a spot on my “Things to Blog About” list, but I just couldn’t find a handle to hang it on until I discovered the above mentioned quote today.

I’m reminded more and more that the past really IS like a foreign country.  All I must do to witness this is visit a public place – a school, a church, a store – or drive down the streets of the nearest city.

When I was younger, the majority of people dressed up in their nicest clothes and made themselves look presentable to go out into public.  They wore their “Sunday best” to church, weddings, funerals, shopping, even the doctor’s office, and especially if they were visiting the city.

I vividly recall one day when I was a college student, a friend and I planned a shopping day downtown in our nearest large metropolis.   As I was leaving my parents’ home, my father, who traveled there often for meetings related to his work, asked me with a hint of disdain in his voice, “Is THAT what you’re wearing?”

I thought I looked presentable in my bell-bottom slacks with a cute sleeveless summery shirt and my wedged platform sandals.  Dad thought differently.

This was a man who dressed himself in a suit, shirt, tie and hat for work every single day even in summer’s heat.  My attire, he informed me, was not suitable for the city.   And he was correct.

I was stubborn and refused to change, but after my friend and I stepped off the bus onto the hustle and bustle of the city streets, I realized for myself how grossly under-dressed I was.  Everyone was outfitted in very nice clothes and I felt self-conscious about the way I looked.

By today’s standards though, I would probably have looked dressed up. Recently, hubby and I drove to our metro area on a week day, a work day.   I didn’t see many men walking along downtown dressed in suits, let alone ties.  Women weren’t “dressed for success” either.

Dressed for the city now – Image source unknown

Almost everyone was casually attired and some were dressed inexcusably inappropriately with body parts and/or under garments exposed.

I couldn’t help thinking that my dad would have been appalled to see so many slobs in this downtown city, where he would not have been caught dead without his hat.

While hubby and I discussed this ‘trend,’ he recalled traveling on a field trip to Washington, DC when he was in elementary school.   His mother made him wear a suit and tie because that was just good form back then.

He was, after all, visiting our nation’s capital and should be dressed respectfully.  He still remembers a couple of classmates, clothed in regular pants and shirts with sweaters, calling him “Senator” because of the way he was attired.

Both he and I grew up during a time when people wore their best clothes when going out in public, not like they just rolled out of bed and were wearing clothes in which they slept.   We also grew up in the thick of tumultuous change – the 60’s – and were in college and a young married couple in the 70’s.  So we embraced the new freedom of style, but we still managed to understand dressing appropriately and to teach that concept to our children.   Now, anything goes.

Before you call me an old fuddy-duddy, let me firmly state I don’t believe we should live in the past.  There were definitely customs and ideas of the past that we gratefully put behind us, but I must ask why people prefer to dress like slobs today.

I don’t know if it’s just that society in general has become so casual about everything or whether people have just become more lazy and slovenly.   Do they really not know any better? Or is it that people just don’t have respect for anything any more, not even themselves?

I wonder this when I attend a lovely formal church wedding (not in an outdoor setting) and notice not only men without suits or ties, but men clad in shorts.   I wonder this when I witness middle-aged women attired in Daisy Duke shorts and revealing tops.   I wonder this when I catch a glimpse of a person in t-shirt and jeans enter a funeral home to pay ‘respect’ to one who has passed away.

And I shake my head in amazement why people want to be seen in public like that.

I realize I’ve just delivered a bit of a rant, but on this 4^th page, Chapter 6, in my book called Opportunity, I’m seriously wondering am I just a foreigner in this different age?  Tell me what you think.

Copyright ©2011 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

Counting birthday blessings instead of calories

Image source unknown

I’m parked on my front porch swing absorbing the beauty of a sunshine-filled day with baby blue skies dotted by fluffy clouds while being cooled by a balmy, light breeze and I’m contemplating life.

Why such a serious subject on a gorgeous summery day you may wonder.   Simple answer, my birthday’s drawing nigh.

I think when you pass a significant number of years in age, you really begin taking stock of your life, how you’ve lived it thus far, and how you want to live what years remain.  Let’s just call that maturity.

Someone once said, “We know we’re getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.”    I don’t necessarily relish birthdays any more especially when I stop to calculate how old I really am.  But I do like to reflect on years past and consider the future when my birth date rolls around on the calendar.

A friend and co-worker deposited a lovely polka-dotted gift bag on my desk yesterday.  She inquired whether I’d be savoring birthday cake for my special day;  I replied negatively.  There’s really no sense in having cake for just hubby and me here at the empty nest.  We’d end up eating the entire thing ourselves and goodness knows, neither one of us needs all those calories!

Besides, if I’m going to indulge in sweets for the day commemorating just how close I’m creeping towards the big 6-O, then I’d much rather have a big ol’ vanilla cream-filled powdered sugar doughnut.  Yep, I’d go for the sugar gusto of a doughnut over cake any day.  So, even though cake is yummy, no cake for me this year.

No cake, no candles, no party and I’ve told hubby to not spend money on gifts either.  Really, material things don’t matter much to me anymore, and receiving gifts, while lovely, just doesn’t fill up my love language tank.  What floats my boat is spending a wonderful time with those I love most.

As I reflect on birthdays past, that’s exactly what I’ve been given for every birthday I’ve celebrated -  blessings in the way of family gathered around me.   Until I passed my 9th birthday, I not only had my parents and sisters in my life but also my maternal grandparents.

Eventually, brothers-in-law were added to the family and then baby nieces and a nephew were born.   And God blessed me with a true love, a husband who has never, ever forgotten my birthday and makes me feel special and loved.

By the time our beloved three children came along, we didn’t live near our families, but my own little family made my birthdays memorable and so blessed.  Add a vast assortment of friends to my birthday blessings and I realize how much joy I’ve been given over the years.

So now at this juncture of life, when I have been the recipient of so much, it’s way past time for me to commence identifying what I give back in return and how should I increase that measure.

What impact do I make on others’ lives?  In what ways can I bestow joy to someone else?  How can I encourage and lift up someone who’s heart is breaking, someone who faces the uncertain unknown, or someone who needs a faithful, listening friend?

Today in Chapter 6 (already!), Page 2 in my wonderful book entitled Opportunity, that’s what I’m contemplating – looking back at how far I’ve come, yet seeing how much farther I need to go to fulfill my purpose here in this world.

I have always been a person of good intentions, but too often have not followed through on them and that is something I need to change.   When God plants a person’s name in my mind, I need to stop what I’m doing right then and pray for him or her.  When He gives me an idea about how to bless another, I must ensure that idea comes to fruition.

Years ago, someone gave me a perpetual calendar with quotes and a Bible verse for each day of the year.  For the last several years, the calendar occupied space on my workplace desk.  As I turned the page to my birth date, the quote greeting me seemed appropriate for my special day:

“I expect to pass through the world but once.  Any good thing, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any fellow human being let me do it now.  Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”  ~ Attributed to Stephen Grellet, Quaker missionary

I want to make this my birthday prayer.   Next year, Lord willing, on my birthday, I hope I can say that I’ve given many more blessings than I have received.

©2011 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

If that mockingbird don’t sing

Image via wikipedia

Atticus Finch told his daughter, Scout, “Shoot all the blue jays you want, if you can hit ‘em, but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird”  in Harper Lee’s great American novel, To Kill a Mockingbird.

But I wonder if ol’ Atticus ever suffered sleep deprivation because of one of those noisy birds.

The last few nights here at Mama’s Empty Nest, it hasn’t exactly been quiet.  We’re enjoying some summer-like weather and sleeping with bedroom windows thrown wide open.  Fresh air streams in and I usually sleep well because of it.

But right after I settle into my comfy bed, punch up my pillow just the way I like it, close my eyes, whisper my nightly prayers, listen to the steady whoosh of hubby’s CPAP machine and prepare to nod off to dreamland, it starts.  Noisy, raucous bird calls.

The first night this happened,  a strange sound outside caused my eyes to flutter open. What odd animal was making that noise? Then I heard a bird chirp…and chirp….and chirp.  Next came a “chuck, chuck, chuck” kind of sound followed by what I thought must be a bird trilling.

“What the heck is going on out there?” I thought.

Why were those crazy birds singing so late at night? Our calico kitty was safely snuggling indoors for the night, so it couldn’t be her presence causing the birds’ tizzy.  Was there some animal threatening their nests or what?

Every time I closed my eyes and thought I’d nod off, I heard the sounds again. Over and over and over it lasted, keeping me on the edge of sleep but never really able to dive into that restful, deep sleep until early morning.

Upon awakening, I asked hubby if he heard the odd chorus of the night. He did notice it but then drifted off easily as he is prone to do.  Lucky man. He falls asleep effortlessly and I must admit I envy his ability to do that.

The next night at bedtime, we opened our windows once again.  Within seconds, hubby fell asleep while I listened to another nocturnal crescendo of loud chirps, squawks, cheeps and trills.  It sounded like I was in the middle of the jungle or at the very least the zoo!

Hour after hour, the cacophony of sound continued.  Being one of those unfortunate people who does not fall asleep easily, I tossed and turned while the never-ending racket continued.  I ventured to the window, looked out, saw nothing but darkness and continued hearing the din.  I wanted to yell loudly, “Would you just SHUT UP?!”  But I feared I’d scare my sleeping husband.

After my second mostly sleepless night, I did what anyone would do the next morning – I googled “What kind of bird makes noise all night long?”   The answer: the Northern Mockingbird.

I’m not much of a bird-watcher, although I do marvel at winged creatures soaring through the air and perching here and there in the trees.  During the daylight hours, I love hearing the birds sing in my yard, especially as I awaken in the morning.

But the one-bird party this mockingbird was hosting deprived me of my much beloved sleep.  And I couldn’t believe how many different sounds the mockingbird makes because, according to what I read at allaboutbirds.org (Cornell University’s Lab of Ornithology’s website), these birds add new sounds to their repertoire throughout their little bird lives.

“If you’ve been hearing an endless string of 10 or 15 different birds singing outside your house, you might have a Northern Mockingbird in your yard,” this website advised me.  “A male may learn around 200 songs throughout its life.”

Two hundred songs!!!  No wonder it sounded like a bird aviary outside my bedroom window!  Apparently, there was one noisy male mockingbird causing all the commotion.

Now that I’ve discovered information about my loud visitor, I’ve become accustomed to his nightly warbling and I’m falling asleep easier, but sometimes I catch myself singing, “Mock – yeah.  Ing – yeah.  Bird – yeah.  Mocking Bird, now everybody have you heard, he’s gonna buy me a mockingbird….” with visions of James Taylor and Carly Simon in my head.

Yes, you are so welcome that now you too have that song planted in your brain!  But if  you’d rather hear a sample of our nocturnal serenade, you can listen to this:

Tonight, in Chapter 5, Page 28, of my book called Opportunity, I’ll open my bedroom window and listen for the mockingbird. But now that I’ve become familiarized to his wild repertoire, I’ll let him sing me to blissful sleep.

“Then from the neighboring thicket the mockingbird, wildest of singers, Swinging aloft on a willow spray that hung o’er the water. Shook from his little throat such floods of delirious music, That the whole air and the woods and the waves seemed silent to listen.”~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in Evangeline

©2011 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

Charms in the bracelet of life

Almost a year ago, this lonely Mama, sitting forlornly in her empty nest, bemoaned the fact that her friendships seemed to be waning.

Both hubby and I experienced disconnects in various aspects of our lives and our social activity was one of those areas.

I chalk up a majority of those feelings to the empty nest syndrome, although in one very important part of our lives, there truly was a serious disconnect.

But in the case of feeling friendless and lonely, the shock of empty nest reality definitely contributed to those impressions.   When you spend well over 25 years raising children, your life revolves around them and even many of your friendships and activities exist because of the season of parenting in which you’re ensconced.

One of the reasons I began writing my blog stemmed from those sensations of ambivalence and loneliness I encountered as I faced the empty nest.  I needed an activity, a new hobby…something in which to devote time and attention.

I also realized I wanted something besides my job to feel passionate about.  The timing seemed perfect to reconnect with my knack for writing, an art I used to engage in often but couldn’t afford spending time and energy doing during my child-raising days.

C.S. Lewis wrote: “When we lose one blessing, another is often, most unexpectedly, given in its place.”

For me, that quote rings so true.  When my last child, my son, graduated from college last spring, landed a promising full-time job in his field of study, and moved to another state to launch a new career and a new life, I grieved.  Shortly before that, middle daughter, who lived at home after college to save money but drove a considerable commute to work, also moved into her own apartment in the city.

Combined that felt like a double whammy, and the full brunt of two of my children moving out coming less than a year after my father passed away slammed into me like a head-on collision.   This overwhelming sense of bereavement definitely felt like losing a huge blessing.

But just as Lewis advised, I believe I’ve been granted other blessings, definitely most unexpectedly, in place of that loss.   Writing this blog has been such a blessing for me.  Stringing together emotions, thoughts, and ideas into words and pictures gives me much joy.  Actually receiving feedback in the form of comments and encouragement from those who read my words adds to my pleasure.

My readers bless me immensely, even those who have not let me know they read my blog.  I see their attention in my site stats on WordPress each day and I marvel to myself, “Wow, someone read my blog today!”

Some of my faithful readers reside in my neck of the woods and they encourage me just by simply telling me how much they enjoy reading this blog.  One of my girlhood friends keeps urging me to write a book; another has suggested I write a devotional.

Other faithful readers are my Facebook friends – still people I personally know – some near, and some far away, some friends from days gone by  – who also bless me with their uplifting comments and messages.

The experience reminds me of a charm bracelet.  When I was a teenager, that jingly, jangly jewelry   was all the rage and I wholeheartedly jumped on this fad bandwagon.

I added tiny symbolic mementos to my bracelet from places I visited or events that occurred in my life.

Family members and friends gifted charms to me;  each one meant something special and that treasured bracelet loaded with jingling ornaments now rests in my jewelry box.  I can still recall who gave each tiny trinket to me and what each one of them  signifies.  There’s a life story right there hanging on my silver bracelet.

Through my blog, I’ve gained new readers and ‘met’ fellow writers who have become friends as well.   One fellow blogger in particular has become a cherished friend.  We share a lot of commonalities, a similar outlook on life, and even more importantly, we share the same deep faith in God, which has given us a very real connection as friends.

If you had told me a year ago that I would find a precious friendship via the internet, I would have loudly proclaimed, “Hogwash!”  (I don’t really use that word, but that’s what I would have said.)   I’ve always been leery of cyberspace and my own children can regale you with tales of my consternation and admonishment to them to be careful online especially when making any personal contacts with people you don’t know.   So here I am, eating my own words.

When I related the ways this new friend and I have connected, my oldest daughter replied with a chuckling twinge in her voice, “Mom, God gave you a new friend through the internet.”  (Heavy emphasis on the word internet!)  She didn’t say, “I told you so!” but I could hear it in her tone.   And she was right.  And I marvel in my belief that God surely does work in mysterious ways.

Recently, my new, sweet friend blessed my socks off.   A package arrived at my country home and the return address was my friend’s.   Oldest daughter watched me open the parcel and remarked, “Wow, Mom, your new friend is incredibly sweet.”  She’s right….again.

There have been many bumps in the road of life lately here at Mama’s Empty Nest.  Some detours.  Some unexpected pitfalls.   Some moments of insecurity.   Moments when hubby and I are leaning heavily on our faith in the God who provides our needs.    During this time, my new friend has been lifting me up in prayer.  I know it even when she doesn’t tell me because I can feel it.

Her secret surprise package mailed to me made me feel special and loved with each beautiful item I lifted from the box.    She told me when she saw these gifts, they screamed my name – Mama’s Empty Nest!  She was right.  They do!

I want to share with you the joy this friend (not just her gifts) brings me.  The above photo shows the delightful adornments as they gracefully nestle among the other assorted items on my kitchen desk, thanks to my special friend.

Each time my eyes catch a glimpse of them, I think of her and our friendship and I thank God for that gift.  Today in my book of Opportunity, Page 20, Chapter 5, I count it an abundant blessing to have been given wonderfully dear friends, some old, some very new.  All of them are like silver keepsakes attached to my bracelet of life.

“When I count my blessings I count you twice.” ~ Irish Blessing

©2011 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

Half-marathon + guitar = love

Last weekend, my country home was full of people I love.  Just the way I like it.

Hubby and I are starting to get accustomed to the solitude and quietness of our empty nest, but it’s so much more enjoyable when there is a little noise around here.   When there is lively conversation around the kitchen table.  When the sounds of a guitar being strummed reaches our ears.  When showers are running and hair dryers are droning.

We’re getting used to a clean and orderly house, but it feels more like home when we notice certain sights.  When the refrigerator and pantry is stocked full of food.  When there are backpacks and shoes strewn hither and yon.   And even when there are umpteen glasses left sitting on kitchen counters and the family room coffee table.

“The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.”  ~ Thomas Jefferson

Just like Jefferson, I am at my happiest when my family is home with me.   Last weekend, Mama’s Empty Nest was pretty full.   Oldest daughter arrived home from the South for a two-fold reason – first to go wedding dress shopping with her sister and to run our city’s half-marathon with a college friend on Sunday morning.

Our son, the youngest, traveled home Friday from the state next door to spend a little time with his sister.  He treated us with songs on his guitar that he’s recently learned and a few that he’s made up himself.

Later that evening, oldest daughter’s beau drove several hours to meet us for the first time.   Daughter warned us he might be a little shy.

I’m sure he must have been nervous, but he quickly and easily meshed with our family with no hint of shyness.   We found ourselves genuinely liking this thoughtful young man who has captured our daughter’s heart and who drove such a long distance to cheer her on in her first half-marathon.

I’m not certain where oldest daughter gets her love of running – definitely not from her mama.  Daughter ran cross country in high school and has been a veteran 5K racer, but this was her first attempt at marathon running and she finished in good time.  I think it helped to have beau’s support and encouragement.  He seems to be adept at making her feel special, and I really like that about him.

After all the activity and excitement, the nest emptied out once more by Sunday evening.   Son departed first, then daughter’s beau.   Daughter flew back south on Monday.

We missed having middle daughter and fiancé here, but they had an important ceremony to attend during the weekend.   Plus they are coming for a visit soon!  And when they arrive, sounds and sights of life will fill the nest once again lifting Mama and Papa’s spirits.

Someone once said, “The love of a family is life’s greatest blessing,” and in Chapter 5, Page 19, of my Opportunity book, I am thankful for the amazing blessing which is my family.

©2011 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

She said yes to the dress!

This is NOT the one!

Surrounded by mirrored walls and racks upon racks of white, cream and ivory-colored gowns with lace, appliques, beads, shimmers and glimmers, bling-bling and what-nots, my youngest daughter, my middle child, said yes to the dress last Friday.

Venturing into the city, we met my daughter at her apartment and with Maid of Honor sister and best friend bridesmaid in tow, we browsed for a wedding gown and bridesmaid dresses at a bridal salon.

While we sat in a row of cushy chairs waiting for our dear one to appear in a vision of loveliness, one of us remarked, “This is like the TV show Say Yes to the Dress!”  The experience proved to be almost as surreal for this mother of the bride as being on a television show might be.

On one hand, I was so happy and eager to watch daughter try on bridal gowns as this is her dream come true.   But on the other hand, I could hardly believe this was actually happening.  How did my little girl grow up so quickly?!  How could she be old enough to become someone’s wife?!

I’m fairly certain both my daughters expected tears from me while viewing the betrothed bedecked in wedding garb.  Truly, part of me did want to weep during this bittersweet moment – joyful with a twinge of melancholy – but reflecting back on the moment, I believe I was in denial.  It just didn’t seem real.

But real it was.  And believe it or not, this sentimental ol’ Mama did not cry.  As my beautiful daughter stepped out of the dressing room each time with exquisite gowns that fit her to a T, her sister, friend and I oohed and aahed and gave opinions.

I know my dear daughter well.  I could tell by her body language whether she liked the gown she modeled or not.  Her face smiled, but her body said no, this isn’t the one.  Even when the sales attendants told her how lovely she looked, or sister or friend would exclaim “So pretty,” I could discern each dress was not her cup of tea.

My middle child is a no nonsense person who admires simplicity for the most part.  She’s kind of a no frills girl, so when she told me several weeks ago that she thought she wanted a lacy gown, I was mildly surprised that she desired something fancy.  But then I realized that this child, now grown woman, has always loved things of old.

As a little girl, she loved visiting antique shops or colonial style homes or museums.  I very distinctly remember her announcing “I wish I could live here” in a 1700’s era home we were touring.  So a vintage look is right up her alley and wedding gowns of lace have a distinct vintage feel.

The first delicate, gossamer-like wedding gown which floated down over her head to settle onto her body, made her beam.   I could tell by the way she looked that this dress was definitely in the running.  She tried on several more after that, but came back to dress number one.   When the bridal consultant added a veil to the ensemble, daughter revealed, “This veil is exactly what I pictured!”

Sometimes, she can be a tad indecisive (a trait she no doubt inherited from her mother), so she surprised us all when the sales girl asked daughter, “Is this the one?”  and she said a decisive, resounding yes! We clapped, we smiled, she glowed.

After we got the ordering accomplished, oldest daughter and best friend began trying on several bridesmaid dresses.  They weighed in on their favorite but the opinion of the two other bridesmaid friends will be consulted before the final selection is chosen.

My daughter’s dream wedding gown is ordered; we left the bridal shop with her chosen veil and accessories.  Along with the church and reception site reservations, we accomplished another important aspect of wedding planning.

I feel happy and excited yet a bit numb.  I keep placating myself that I have an entire year to get used to the idea that my joyful, little rambunctious bundle of energy, who is now a grown-up beautiful, compassionate and gracious young woman of 25, will promise herself to a young man who vows he will love and cherish her for life.

It is Page 17 in Chapter 5 of my book of Opportunity and I’ve decided that in the coming year, I will cherish each moment I’m given to spend with my middle daughter who really is preparing to leave Mama’s Empty Nest to begin a new life of her own with her beloved one.

It’s okay.  I’m not going to cry…..yet.

©2011 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

Blessings like feathers

Image source unknown

Blessings like feathers have been flying all over the place here at Mama’s Empty Nest.

There’s been a flurry of activity  and frankly, Mama’s been too busy to fire up the computer and write in the blog for a few days.

It’s Sunday evening and I have to admit, I’m dragging a bit from all the hustle and bustle of the weekend; and the weather has turned stormy and dreary;  but I’m nesting quite comfortably here in my home sweet home, counting my blessings.

“Home is where friendships are formed and families are grown; where joy is shared and true love is known; where memories are made and seeds of life are sown.  This is the place that people call home.” ~ Author Unknown

We jam-packed a lot of doings into this past weekend here at home.  With all the ins and outs, the arrivals and departures, the comings and goings, Papa should have installed a revolving door at our house.   This Mama was just content to enjoy the company of all three of her fledgling birdies plus one.

Oldest daughter flew in from her southern home for the weekend first.  Reinforcing my disdain for traveling by air, her flight Thursday evening was a nightmare. (If you missed my previous blogging diatribes about flying, you can read part 1 here: no-flight-plan-part-1 and part 2 here: no-flight-plan-part-2.)

Daughter’s flight was scheduled to arrive at our city airport at midnight.   Enter first disruption.  A rash of thunderstorms complete with wild winds and lightning caused all flights arriving at our airport to be delayed.

Enter second disruption.  After several exchanges of text messages, daughter then informed us that her flight was delayed yet again because of a problem with the plane.   This manifested into engine trouble – third and major disruption –  and that prompted Mama to start some heavy-duty praying for daughter’s safety.

That plane was grounded and daughter had to wait for another plane to arrive.   Once we got over lots of frustration for her, worry for Mama and a short cat-nap for dear old Dad, who was driving to the airport in the middle of the night to pick daughter up, we departed home at o’dark thirty in the morning to collect her.

Her flight finally arrived at 2:30 a.m. and we all crawled into bed at home at 4 a.m.  So let me just reiterate, I am NOT a big fan of flying, but I AM counting it a blessing that daughter arrived safely and soundly for a long weekend here.

Morning came early and we jaunted off on our next big adventure – wedding dress shopping in the city with newly engaged middle daughter.  That blessing I’ll write about tomorrow.

Right before we left our country home, son called from the state next door to say he was traveling (driving!)  home for the weekend as well (another blessing!) and that evening, oldest daughter’s boyfriend also arrived for a first time meeting with us.  We were blessed to get the opportunity to meet this fine young man.

So Mama’s Empty Nest certainly wasn’t empty this weekend, and in my Opportunity book today, this 15^th page in Chapter 5, even though the nest is emptying out once again, I find myself blessed beyond measure.

“He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” ~Psalm 91:4

©2011 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

Finding faith from a fawn

Image source unknown

I spotted another harbinger of spring recently, reminding me this is the season of rebirth, but also of something more profound.

White-tail deer inundate the area near our country home.    We’ve had our fair share of run-ins with these cute creatures turned dangerous when they slam into cars driving down our highways.

Road kill’s a natural occurrence here and it’s almost unusual not to see dead deer lying on the side of the road.  The damage they inflict on our vehicles is unbelievable.  So when I spot deer nearby while I’m driving,  I’ve learned to slow down considerably.  Sometimes I lay on the horn repeatedly to frighten the critters away so they don’t ram into my car.

The other day, while driving home from work, I decided to travel a two-lane bi-way instead of the four-lane highway.  As I was rounding a bend notorious for deer crossing, a doe scurried across the road in front of my car.

I immediately braked and quickly glanced in the direction she had come expecting to see another doe or maybe even a buck following her because once I saw the largest buck I’ve ever seen in my entire life at this exact spot.  Instead, I spied a tiny, trembling spotted fawn standing at the top of an embankment, reminding me that deer give birth to their babies in the spring.

That adorable little baby deer appeared so startled by what was transpiring that he just buckled his stick-like legs under his polka-dotted  body and lay down on the bank by the side of the road.   He looked exactly like the picture accompanying this post.

Why don’t I carry my camera with me at all times?  He would have made an adorable picture.  Seeing that fragile fawn warmed my heart but also made me fear for his safety.  I hope he stayed on the bank until his mommy came back for him and didn’t wander out onto the road.

All of this reminded me that sometimes, especially when we’re fearful about what lies ahead of us, we just hunker down like that little fawn.  We wait to see what will happen or we become paralyzed with fear, hoping to be rescued much like I imagine that spotted baby deer expected from his mother.

And that’s not always a bad thing.  Sometimes, we just need to wait…..and wait…..and wait until God shows us what He wants us to do.

I must admit that often I feel like that scared fawn on the side of the road.  I feel fragile and wobbly when I can’t figure out what’s going on in my life and what I’m supposed to do.   But that’s when my rescuer lets me sense His presence.

Recently, I’ve allowed myself to feel exactly like a frightened fawn trembling beside a busy highway of life.  One morning at a very early hour,  I awakened abruptly  because I heard someone loudly calling my name.  I was certain my husband had already arisen and for some reason had called out to me.

My eyes opened in a flash, my heart pounded,  and I expected to see hubby standing near me.  He wasn’t.  I looked around our bedroom and then realized he was still sound asleep next to me.

Who called my name?  I pondered.   I waited and listened.  Nothing.  Puzzled, I drifted back to sleep.  The strange experience stayed in the forefront of my mind that day, and I related it to my co-workers.

My boss smiled and shared that she once had the same experience after a particularly stressful day.  She added that she liked to think it was God calling her name, just to let her know that He saw her and knew what she needed.

I love that idea.  It actually gives me great comfort because I do believe the God of the universe, all-knowing, all-powerful, and ever-present,  knows my name.   He’s always known my name.

He knows my troubles and He knows my afflictions just like He knows my joys and my elation.   He knows what I need, when I need Him the most, and when I need Him to guide me.

He has always carried me through trials and tough times, even when my doctor stated the dreaded ‘C word’ (cancer) six years ago.  I’ve never felt abandoned or forgotten because I know my God sees me and hears my prayers (even when He doesn’t answer them the way that I would like!).

And sometimes, He just wants me to wait and know that He is God and He is in control and that He knows my name.  I don’t have to fear that God will forsake me because He never will.  I can count on Him to take care of me on this 11th page of Chapter 5 in my book called Opportunity and every day…and so can you.

©2011 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

Lest we forget the need

Image via science.howstuffworks.com

As I enjoyed a restful, relaxing Mother’s Day yesterday,  thousands of my fellow Americans exhausted themselves cleaning up from the aftermath of tornadoes in the deep South.

While I lathered myself up with soap in a hot shower, many of them have nowhere to wash their hands.

As I plugged in my hair dryer, hundreds and hundreds of Southerners are living without electricity.

While I turned on my faucet to fill my tea kettle with good, clean water for my morning cup of tea, scads of my fellow countrymen have no running water.

As I consumed a hot breakfast cooked over my own stove,  hundreds of tornado victims have neither stove nor hot food.

While I casually perused my closet to choose clothing for the day, their clothes have been destroyed or blown away.

As I rode in my own vehicle to attend church, many have been left without transportation and many have lost even their place of worship.

While I gaily chatted on the phone with each of my three grown children and felt blessed by their Mother’s Day wishes, hundreds of people still mourn the loss of their loved ones who were killed by the killer twister.

As I sat on my overstuffed, comfy chair with my feet propped up, my fellow human beings have no furniture to rest upon.

While I communicated on my blog, through email and Facebook with friends and strangers via my laptop, those who’ve lost everything feel cut off from the entire world.

As I lay in my warm, comfortable bed with a soft pillow for my head, plenty to eat and drink and a roof over my head,  countless of God’s beloved children have no place to rest and no place to call home.

There, but for the grace of God go I….and you….what are we going to do about it?

While I contemplate my blessings in my Opportunity book today on page 9 in Chapter 5, may I suggest you do the same?  Those of us who are blessed with much dare not forget about those who have lost everything in tornadoes and other disasters.

I urge you to consider donating monetary aid to the organizations helping our brothers and sisters in need.  Here are a few trustworthy organizations that can use your donations to directly help victims:

www.samaritanspurse.org

www.salvationarmyusa.org

www.redcross.org/

©2011 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

The third incredible woman of May

Incredibly brave while holding a friend’s snake!

“When you become a mother, you stop being the picture and start being the frame.”  ~ Unknown

Today is Mother’s Day and also the birthday of the third woman, born in May, who impacted my life in a significant way.

This young woman is beautiful, articulate and adventuresome in spirit.    Tiny in stature, demure-looking to the world, but if you invoke her anger, watch out because she possesses a fiery, feisty and very passionate side.

Intelligent, but not in a nerdy way, she has compassion for those less fortunate than herself, which is why she volunteers regularly at a soup kitchen mission, encourages a young underprivileged girl as her “big sister” in the Big Brother/Big Sister program and has served others on mission trips.

And oh, does she love to travel to exciting places!   She’s ventured to a majority of the United States and experienced trips abroad to France, England, South Africa, Mozambique, and Honduras.  If she acquired enough financing, she would travel all over the world because visiting every continent is inscribed on her bucket list.

Her highly organized style makes her a keeper of lists – lists of things to do, lists of adventures to take, lists of things she’s accomplished, lists of ordinary occurrences.    Her talents include singing (although she does so quietly) and playing piano beautifully with gusto and emotion.

She understands complex molecular biology yet has a knack for writing with humor and insight, and she loves country line dancing.   She owns an outrageous sense of humor and provides family and friends with lots of laughs.  (Ask her if gullible is written on the ceiling – sorry, that’s an inside joke.)

She loves God first and her family second, and probably her cat ranks third on that list followed by her friends.  And sunflowers are her favorite flowers.  I know this young woman so well because she is my daughter, my first-born child.

My daughter and I bonded long before she actually entered this world.  While her military daddy was stationed across the globe, she, as a tiny baby developing in my womb, helped me stay focused during the time hubby and I were apart.

My life centered completely on hers during that time.  To ensure her health, I concentrated on mine and consumed nothing that wasn’t healthy even abandoning my beloved tea for decaffeinated.

I talked to her each day as she squirmed and performed somersaults inside of me.  I wrote daily letters to her daddy describing preparations for the new life that would be joining ours.

When her tiny foot or knee or fist protruded and formed a knot on the outside of my abdomen, I caressed that spot with my fingers to assure her Mama loved her.  I knew music would play an important role in her life because she “danced” each time I played piano and stopped immediately when the music halted.

One Saturday night, after many hours of labor, my oldest daughter emerged as a tiny, delicate mixed version of myself and my hubby and presented herself to me as my Mother’s Day gift.  Born less than an hour before Mother’s Day arrived, my little one gave me the gift of motherhood in time for the holiday.

Every single concern or doubt I fretted over about becoming a mother totally evaporated when that amazing little baby girl was placed in my arms.  In that moment and in the years to come, I finally understood the meaning of unconditional love.

No matter what she or her younger sister and brother may have done, I neither would nor could ever stop loving my children.   Becoming a mother gave me insight into how God loves us without condition.

“The mother love is like God’s love; he loves us not because we are lovable, but because it is His nature to love, and because we are His children.”  ~ Earl Riney

As I reminisce on this Mother’s Day about all the years I’ve spent as a mother, I realize I never could have accomplished this task without God’s guidance, without prayer, without the understanding of a mother’s ferociously intense love for her child.  And I’m hopeful that I’ve done my very best with the lessons I have learned in motherhood.  I agree with Ruth Bell Graham when she said:  “As a mother, my job is to take care of what is possible and trust God with the impossible.”

So as I celebrate my oldest daughter’s birthday in my book of Opportunity, Chapter 5, Page 8,  I give praise and thankfulness to the One who gave me the gift of life first, then blessed me with the gift of motherhood, not just once but three times.

Happy Birthday, my dearest Oldest Daughter!  Thank you for teaching me to be the frame for your beautiful picture!   May your day be blessed with the knowledge that you are loved beyond comprehension by God and by your mother.

©2011 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com