A great power lies within each of us. We often unknowingly summon up this power without even intending to and we brandish it on others without realizing the damage it can inflict.
We wield this power in our words and actions like a sharpened sword honed to slice and sever, segment and separate. It is the power to hurt another human being.
When I am profoundly hurt, I tend to retreat. Being confrontational is not in my comfort zone so unless I’m backed into a corner with no escape possible, I will not choose to strike back.
And even though I’m not an ‘in your face’ kind of person, I do wear my emotions on my sleeve; my heart is laid bare for all to see. Those around me will perceive that I’ve been hurt or made angry.
When those times come, I automatically seek the One who sustains me – my Savior Jesus. I cry out to Him in prayer and through His Word. Next, I seek comfort in the arms of my family and closest friends.
And I also write from my heart in this blog.
“Live your life from your heart. Share from your heart. And your story will touch and heal people’s souls.” – Melody Beattie
Writing is one of the ways I process events and emotions and try to perhaps encourage others who may be enduring the same unsettling feelings that I am. So it hurts twice as much if my own written words are used against me.
A void exists now where there once was something I cared deeply about. And that hurts. And to compound the pain, I felt that my words and actions were misinterpreted and misjudged adding more fuel to the firestorm.
English writer C.K. Chesterton once wrote: “The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.”
I couldn’t agree with that statement more. Compensation is not what I long for nor is it what I truly need. What my heart needs is healing.
I made strides in moving forward from being hurt to being healed because even though I may have been hurt, I will not wallow in self-pity. It’s just not in my character nor is it what I desire to do. Healing does take time though, but I’ve got a good start which I can attribute to much prayer, my loving family, and my treasured friends.
My healing began two weekends ago when joy was delivered to my front door. First to appear was a lovely flower arrangement dressed in the happiest (and my favorite) color of yellow from a most cherished far away friend. The second helping of joy arrived when oldest daughter and son-in-law traveled here to spend the weekend with hubby and me.
We talked, we laughed, we ate nourishing home-cooked food around the kitchen table, and we enjoyed an afternoon outing in beautiful fall weather.
Saturday night, the four of us gathered around a warm, toasty outdoor fire. We experienced something mesmerizing and soothing as we breathed in crisp, cool night air saturated with the smell of wood smoke; gazed at the star-studded sky (and identified constellations via son-in-law’s iPhone); and sipped hot apple cider.
We worshiped together on Sunday morning at our family church and after our ‘kids’ departed, my husband and I visited our 96-year-old family friend who recently suffered a stroke. Her happiness from our visit and the little surprise we brought her did wonders for my aching spirit.
This past weekend, my wounded heart rejoiced yet again when my husband and I got to spend time with son and daughter-in-law. Talking with friends and family also proved to be just what I needed.
Yesterday more joy came to visit. My middle daughter arrived just to spend a few days with Mom. We spent most of this morning curled up in the family room just talking and talking, reminiscing about days past, and looking forward to the future.
“The words of kindness are more healing to a drooping heart than balm or honey.” ~Sarah Fielding
It was just what I imagine the Good Doctor would order for healing of the heart. As we head into another weekend, I can honestly say this treatment is working.
“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” - Proverbs 16:23-25