Monthly Archives: May 2012

Lessons Mom taught me

Posted by Mama's Empty Nest in birthdays, mothers and daughters and tagged with , ,

My mother as a young woman

Here at Mama’s Empty Nest we’re preparing for our middle daughter’s wedding next week.  I’m sure my readers may be growing tired of reading about it,  but with all three of our adult children saying “I Do’s” this year, weddings have consumed my life in this season.

And while in the throes of going bridal, there’s been a little empty spot in my heart and my bride-to-be daughter’s.

Both of her grandmas will be missing on daughter’s special day.   My mother-in-law passed away almost 14 years ago and we lost my mother to cancer six months after that.

Today would have been my mother’s 93rd birthday.   I’m re-posting a blog I wrote a year ago about my mom, my children’s beloved maternal grandmother, in honor of her birthday.

I imagine my mother was an ultimate surprise when she was born to my grandparents after 19 years of marriage and no children.   She surely was the apple of their eye as their only child.

She certainly was the apple of mine.  Washington Irving said it well when he wrote:

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”

I loved and admired my mother so much, it’s difficult to express in words.  I watched her with awe and respect, especially in her last year of life as she bravely and without complaint battled the cancer that was taking her body captive.

Mom was one of the strongest, most determined people I’ve ever met; she had a feisty spirit and she was fun (ask any of her grandchildren!). She loved God, her family, and her home.  She was happiest when she was whipping up goodies in the kitchen and watching her loved ones enjoy her home cooking.

Crafts, sewing projects, quilting, crocheting – all right up her alley.  Any ideas to enhance her home or anything she could make with her own hands to give as a gift caught her attention  – just one of the ways she demonstrated her love.  She especially enjoyed planting flowers in her garden and watching her six grandchildren flower as well.

When I was a squirrelly teenager, my mother suffered through menopause.  The combination wasn’t exactly compatible so we butted heads often.  Sometimes, she just made me so mad, I would stomp up the stairs to my room and cry my eyes out.  And I know I made her just as angry.  But not once, did we ever stop loving one another.

As an adult, I realized first-hand the stresses my mom endured.  And I sadly recall wounding my mom so badly one time during my teenage years.  After yet another ridiculous battle of words I waged with her, I had shouted, “You don’t love me and you never did!”

I’ve never forgotten the look of horror on her face as she recoiled from my venomous words.  She seemed to wilt as she slowly sat down and tears quietly streamed down her cheeks.

I don’t believe I have ever regretted words more than those ugly ones I flung at her that day.   The power to reduce my mother to tears did not give me satisfaction, instead it made me realize what a spoiled brat I was being and I never hurled hurtful words like that to my mother again!

But through those trying years, Mom never stopped encouraging me, giving me good advice when I needed it, and loving me.  She urged me to be the first person in our family to attend college.

Without admonition, she expected me to try my hardest at whatever I endeavored.  I remember many late summer nights, swaying gently back and forth side by side on the front porch swing, having conversations with Mom about boyfriends, what college life would be like, and dreaming about my future.

Later, I would make my mother cry again.  When I married my true love and we loaded our belongings into a U-Haul trailer to move half-way across the country, my mother wept.  And every time we visited my parents from our home away from home, she would once again cry each time we said goodbye.

My Mom was always my rock.  She was the one I turned to for help, to vent, to rail against the injustices of my world because I knew she was always on my side.  And she always knew what to say to pick me up, dust me off, and send me back on my way.

She provided the strong arms of comfort into which I collapsed with hysterical tears in an airport ladies room after sending my military husband off to a foreign land for a year’s tour of duty.   Pregnant with our first child and saying goodbye to my husband, who would miss the birth of that child, was the most heart-wrenching task I had ever endured.

And it was Mom, who held me tight, rocked me in her arms even while she cried with me, and whispered in my ear, “You’ve got to think about this new little life you’re carrying inside of you.  You’ve got to be strong for the baby.”

I didn’t want to be strong.   But I learned to be.  And that’s one of the lessons I learned from my mother who portrayed strength every day, even as she lay dying all those years later.

Today in my book of Opportunity, I miss my mother terribly. But I can almost hear her whisper, “You’ve got to think about your family, your children.   You’ve got to be strong for them now.” And so I muster up the fortitude to carry me through this exciting yet exhausting year of marrying off my offspring and to endure watching them totally fly out of this empty nest.

Thanks, Mom for teaching me about the commitment of motherhood and the love of family.  I hope I’ve instilled those same lessons in your granddaughters.

Happy Birthday, Mom.  Give Jesus a hug for me.

“I miss thee, my Mother!  Thy image is still

The deepest impressed on my heart.” ~Eliza Cook

Copyright ©2012 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

I’m off on a visit

Posted by Mama's Empty Nest in guest posting and tagged with , ,

Mama’s Empty Nest isn’t at home today!  At least not in the blogging world.

It’s hectic at the nest with preparations for middle daughter’s upcoming wedding.  Actually, I’m in the throes of cookie baking – multitudes of them.  (It’s a regional thing here at wedding receptions to have a “cookie table” with umpteen varieties of cookies for feasting.)

So today I’m visiting over at a friend’s place,  Nikole Hahn’s Journal.    Nikki and I have been blogging buddies since the early days of my blog.  She’s become a good friend and I always look forward to her posts.  So when she asked me to guest post on her blog, I jumped at the chance.

This weekend, my local PRC (Pregnancy Resource Center) is holding its annual Walk for Life fundraiser.  I’m trying to raise donations for the event.  Nikki just walked and raised funds for her local PRC, so we share a common ground there.

So hop on over to Nikki’s blog and read my post entitled “Mama’s Empty Nest:  To Save a Life.”  And if you’d like to donate to this life-affirming cause, you can do so online here.  There’s a link in my post on Nikki’s blog too.

Oops!  My oven timer just went off, can’t burn those cookies!  See you later!

Showers of blessing

Posted by Mama's Empty Nest in blessings, bridal shower, Mother's Day and tagged with , ,

When I was just a little girl, my maternal grandparents lived with us.

One of my favorite memories of Grandma is when she and I would squeeze ourselves into her chair – the upholstered rocker with the wooden swan head arms – and rock our blues away while singing hymns.

One of those old church songs was “Showers of Blessing” and after 50 years, the tune and the words still echo in my mind.  When I close my eyes, I can picture my gray-haired grandma and my skinny, bespectacled eight-year-old self rocking and singing together.

For over a week now, that old song replays again and again in my mind or I catch myself humming the tune.   Since May rolled around on the calendar, it’s been an emotional time for me.  The first of our family weddings is just days away now.  Middle daughter will walk down the aisle escorted by her father and marry her true love.

In addition to the emotion of elated happiness at thinking about my daughter getting married, I’ve also encountered a touch of sadness.  I’m really missing my parents, even more than usual, as we prepare for all of these weddings in our family.

I find it a bit heartbreaking that my children have no living grandparents to attend their wedding ceremonies.   My mother would have been so excited over all of the preparations and so willing to help.  My father would have been proud of his grandchildren and their choices in marriage partners.  My husband’s parents would also have welcomed these family events with enthusiasm.

But the church pew reserved for parents and grandparents will only hold two people – my husband and me – for all three nuptials. I’ll admit the thought of that has brought me to tears a few times.

Mulling over middle daughter’s recent bridal shower and that old hymn’s words taught to me by my own grandmother (who didn’t live long enough to see me get married either) provided inspiration for me on this day in my Opportunity book. It reminded me how many showers of blessing have been bestowed upon us as we prepare for our daughter’s wedding.

Her bridal shower was truly lovely and my oldest daughter, the maid of honor, did an outstanding job planning it.  Surrounded by good friends and some family, I noticed blessings pouring over us.

Continuing the vintage theme my daughter loves and has incorporated into her wedding, we used a few family keepsakes at her shower.  Lacy tablecloths that once belonged to my mother and mother-in-law adorned tables.  The shower goodies, lovingly prepared by oldest daughter, my sister, and me was served on old fashioned dishes that once graced the tables of my grandmother, my mother, my mother-in-law, and even a great aunt.  All of those items represented blessings handed down through generations.

But it just wasn’t about things.  As friends and family gathered to shower my daughter with gifts for her new life with her true love, they also showered her with blessings of love.

From one spectrum to another, blessings flowed and I can still picture each one.  Two of my oldest and best friends from childhood, my tried and true friends, attended the shower.  Joining them was the mother of one of those best friends, my next door neighbor while I was growing up and in many ways my ‘second mom.’

The mothers of two of the bridesmaids also were in attendance, fellow moms who watched our girls make their way through junior and senior high school together, moms who welcomed my daughter into their homes and hearts.

And then there were my daughter’s college and high school friends – spread near and far, yet gathered together to celebrate the bride-to-be.  Good friends I’ve made since moving back to the homeland,  including my prayer warriors and confidantes, were also included.

One special blessing was the presence of my mother’s best friend, a dear lady who has known and loved me since my birth and who just last month celebrated her 95th birthday. She was so tickled to be included in this celebration.   Her daughter, such a part of our family that she almost seems like a sister, also attended.

Family is a huge blessing to me and that included my sister, my oldest daughter,  my soon-to-be daughter in-law, my niece (wife of my nephew) and happily rounding out the festivities, my adorable 16-month old great-niece.

Thinking back over that wonderful day, how could I feel anything but blessed?  And that’s when it dawned on me not to focus on who was missing for the celebration, but to give thanks for the blessings that were there showering us that day.

I find it fitting that I give thanks for those blessings this week as we prepare to celebrate Mother’s Day.  I’m so grateful for the mothers who came before me, mothers who’ve come along beside me, and the young ladies, future mothers, who will carry the torch forward into the future.

Thank you, Grandma, for teaching me ‘Showers of Blessing.’  May blessings be poured out and showered over all of you mothers out there this Mother’s Day weekend.

There shall be showers of blessing:

This is the promise of love;

There shall be seasons refreshing,

Sent from the Savior above.

Refrain:

Showers of blessing,

Showers of blessing we need:

Mercy-drops round us are falling,

But for the showers we plead.

There shall be showers of blessing,

Precious reviving again;

Over the hills and the valleys,

Sound of abundance of rain.

There shall be showers of blessing;

Send them upon us, O Lord;

Grant to us now a refreshing,

Come, and now honor Thy Word.

There shall be showers of blessing:

Oh, that today they might fall,

Now as to God we’re confessing,

Now as on Jesus we call!

There shall be showers of blessing,

If we but trust and obey;

There shall be seasons refreshing,

If we let God have His way.

Copyright ©2012 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com

A milestone birthday letter

Posted by Mama's Empty Nest in Birthday celebrations, turning 30 and tagged with , ,

My dear oldest child,

Today is your birthday – a milestone birthday.  It truly seems like just yesterday when the delivery nurse placed you in my arms and you and I saw eye to eye for the first time, just 45 minutes before Mother’s Day arrived.

You were a tiny bundle but oh, so perfect!  Born while your daddy was stationed in a far-off land on the other side of the world serving our country, it really felt like it was just you and me against the world until he returned to join us.

As I lay in the recovery room later on your birth day, my mind still reeling from the miracle of your birth and my body still shaking and quivering from labor and delivery, a nurse brought you to me and said, “She won’t stop crying.  I think she wants her mommy.”

And sure enough, as soon as she laid you in my shaky arms, you stopped wailing immediately.  From that day on, you taught me one of the most precious lessons humans can learn – how fiercely a mother loves her child.  You made me realize a mother lion lived inside of me.

Oldest daughter – cute at age 2.

I blinked and you were a tiny, adorable girl with blond curls dancing and singing “ut-town gurl” (Uptown Girl) in your sweet little voice along with Billy Joel on the stereo.  (Yes, that’s why you still love his music.)

You never wanted to miss a thing, following me everywhere, asking questions.  Always curious, always wanting to know, always inquisitive.  When you thought of something you should try or do, you’d inquire of me, “Be that fun, Mommy?”

I blinked again and you trotted off to school, so eager to be a big girl, so ready to learn, to absorb, to experience.  I believe your zeal to discover and understand coupled with your ability to acquire knowledge so easily molded you into the scientist that you are today.

I worried a bit as moves or other circumstances beyond our control caused a change in schools every couple of years for you, but those experiences seemed to give you confidence, a sense of adventure, and the ability to make new friends.

I blinked once more and Dad and I were unloading the car and moving you into your college dorm room, so proud of you and your accomplishments as well as your college choice and your molecular biology major.   And then all too soon, you were out on your own with a freshly minted degree, a launched career in biomedical research, and an apartment to call home.

My darling daughter, you have amazed us.  As you reach this milestone birthday – your 30th – you have accomplished so much. With travels to Paris and London, to Mozambique and South Africa, to Honduras, and the desire to see more of this world God created,  you have proved how adventuresome you are.

You demonstrated your bravery and independence when you accepted a new position in a place far from home where you knew no one, had no roommate, and no real security blanket.   You’ve taken changes and even set-backs in stride and your strong faith in God sustains you.

You are funny.  You are loyal.  You are intelligent.  You are assertive.  And you are so much more daring than your mother!  Convincing your siblings to go sky-diving with you is just one example.

You are determined whether it is running half-marathons or accomplishing a task in the most accurate, precise way.  You always strive for the best and even though you think you’ve not always succeeded, to us you always surpass! Your “bucket list” continues to grow even as you cross items from it.

Beautiful at 30

How can I even begin to explain how much I admire these things about you?  And now, in your 30th year, the Lord has given you a gift you’ve longed for, one for which you’ve waited and hoped for so long  – a soul mate with whom to share your life, your adventures, and your love.  What a beautiful bride you will be on your wedding day this fall!

Today in my book called Opportunity, I remember how much you have blessed the last 30 years of our lives and I give thanks for you and the joy it has been to be your mother.

This birthday might cause you a bit of trepidation, but do not fear. Turning thirty is just another milestone in the journey of life.

The years to come will be amazing; turning thirty is just the beginning.   Our omnipotent God has awesome plans for you and your life.

Actually, as recorded in our guidebook for life, God’s Holy Word,  some pretty important people accomplished some very important things once they turned thirty.  The Lord had big plans for them and their purposes in life were just commencing:

  • “Joseph was thirty years old when he entered the service of Pharaoh king of Egypt. And Joseph went out from Pharaoh’s presence and traveled throughout Egypt.” ~ Genesis 41:46
  • “David was thirty years old when he became king, and he reigned forty years.” ~ 2 Samuel 5:4
  • “Now Jesus himself was about thirty years old when he began his ministry.”  ~ Luke 3:23

I know the Lord has big plans for you too.  God loves you and He will bless you, guide you, and make a way for you when you continue to trust in Him.  That you can count on. And you can always count on us to cheer you on!

Happy 30th Birthday, my beloved and beautiful daughter!

Love always,

Mom

“Don’t just count your years, make your years count.” ~ Ernest Meyers

Copyright ©2012 mamasemptynest.wordpress.com